My partner was like that after my m/c. First i think he said we could try again just to stop the tears but a month later he told me he had changed his mind and that he didnt want another baby. It broke my heart to hear that and i couldnt even look at him. He totally did not understand how i felt about the whole thing and i refused to go back on the pill- the next month i was pregnant. The first week or so he acted like nothing was happening but now he is fantastic. My gamble paid off but i think talking and then talking some more may help.

I know that when I miscarried our first pregnancy, my husband kept saying we could try again. We don't have other children and he hasn't changed his mind, but I think that the way a male partner deals with miscarraige and the tears is to say the logical, "We can try again". I think that's just the way they thing.

My issue w/ that was a little backwards. At first, my husband wanted me to have an abortion. It caused a couple weeks of screaming matches between the 2 of us b/c I refused. After a little while he came around and was excited about it. Now, he knows how much it hurt me to lose our baby that he wants to do whatever he can to help me heal.

Husbands are not wired the way wives are when it comes to emotions. Most men don't know how to show emotions much less talk about them. My husband tries to lift may spirits by saying that the fun part is the practice of making the babies! MEN! I know that he misses the babies just by the way he holds me when I cry. He just doesn't know how to talk about it.

It's so true that men do not experience miscarriage (or anything else) like we do. My husband was sad for about a week, then wanted everything to be okay for me too. He also gets frustrated that this is something he can't "fix." (Although we are trying again, it still isn't a "fix.")

Communicating OFTEN about our needs and where we are with this experience has been very important. Some days we are going in such different directions, but talking about it helps us understand each other better. When we aren't talking, it can get very tense.

I hope you are able to work things out. Good luck!

I can fully relate. My 3rd child was an oops. He was done, I wasn't but we had a 2 yr old and a 5 months old at home. We had originally agreed that if there was 1 there would be at least 2 and after that we would talk. Well, that talk never happened and we got prego. Needless to say, he was less than thrilled and wanted me to terminate, something I couldn't ever do. We got the shock of a lifetime when at 24 weeks we were told that she was 100% going to die, it was just a matter of when. My husband had come around in the fact that we were going to have 3 which was great but he stillhadn't bonded witho ur daughter. She was born and died 1 hr 10 minutes later from her birth defect.

Now, over a year later, we're not agreeing over whether to have another. His reasons is that he couldn't bear it if "it" happened again. Our odds are that it won't. I feel incomplete and although another baby wouldn't ever replace our daughter, our family will never be perfect. He sees it as we have two kids, let's leave it alone. We are still workingon getting to an agreement on this, but talk to your husband. Grieve this loss as much as you can before trying again. Find a support group that you can go to so you have a safe place to talk about your loss and what feelings you are having. I think they are totally normal, and sometimes having a safe place to talk can do wonders for our soul. I do hope you and your husband can come to an agreement as well. Hugs.

My husband was very helpful immediately during after after our loss. He kept to himself in his office and didn't talk much about the baby unless I brought it up though. It has been almost 3 weeks since we found out we lost our baby and he is still standing on the side of not wanting to try again. I too am crushed! How do I make that decision when my partner has made it clear he is not on board? Sometimes, randomly, he will say things like "The two we have sure our cute...let's have another", but then when conversation gets serious, he jumps right back into the fact that he likes things just how they are and thinks a third baby would put too much stress on me and the family. I am confused and he is making me an emotional basket case! You are not alone!

I'm so sorry to hear of your loss. I can sort of relate to your situation. We were trying to get pregnant and once we did, my husband didn't seem really excited about it. The night I lost the baby, he told me that we would try again as soon as we could. A week later that changed to "I want to wait" until god knows when. Now I'm alone with this b/c he doesn't want to feel pressured and the only thing that will make me feel better is being pregnant again. My husband already has two children from a previous marriage and I dont feel it's a priority (not really the right word) to him b/c he's got kids already. The baby I lost was to be my first. The unfortunate thing is that its just not fair to anyone.

Hang in there though. This could just be his way of dealing with the loss he is feeling. I wish you the best of luck in your healing and future. But you are definitely not alone and my heart hurts for you.

Man, that would be tough. I want 4-5 children. I am sorry you have double the hurt right now.

I think alot of this is due to how very different men and women are in terms of how they deal with traumatic events and loss. My husband doesn't know how to react to my mood swings and to my increased sadness(I had a 2nd mc about 6 weeks ago and we have no living children yet). He gets angry at the situation and doesn't know how to express that to me. We are very open with oneanother and I think thats a good place to start with your husband. Be honest with eachother and try to understand where you're both coming from. You'll be okay both of you. its your time to heal.