I recently had a miscarriage about 4 weeks ago after trying for over a year to conceive. I can't seem to stop hurting or find a way to process the pain and am starting to feel as I'm in a self distruct mode, not suicidal, but very out of my own body. It completely devasted me because of what I went thru to become pregnant and some situations I've been dealing with my entire life. The biggest problem is I feel its effecting my marriage to the point of the inevitable (seperation). I have always had some issues with my husband taking me for granted and not expressing his emotions to me. This has spanned from everything from him not doing anything for our first anniversary (he didn't forget, just didn't feel the need to do anything) to just not asking me ever how I was doing. I've come out and told him every time I was upset over something, he says he'll try better and it always goes back to the same. I would of thought with the miscarriage I would of at least been supported there, and have not. I've had to ask him to ask how I'm doing, and I feel so alone. I was even so depressed one day when he was planning on visiting family that I asked him to stay with me a bit, he did not and left me all day. Now I know all of this doesn't validate what happened next, but during this whole time I've become good friends with a male co-worker (known him for a couple of years now). He is 100% supportive of me and has been a sounding board where my husband isn't. It was completely innocent for awhile but after the miscarriage something in me snapped and I lost a whole part of me. The only person that was there for me was this guy and I've started seeing him as more then just a friend. This relationship we have isn't seedy or based on the physical but it is highly emotional affair to the point were I see myself fitting with him better. I don't know what to do with all this hurt and pain and just need someone to talk to. Please help.
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