We had two m/c the first July 12 and the second Oct 22 of 07. Since Nov we have not been getting along great. She is in a deep depression. She is ok at work and with friends. But when she comes home, it feels like sometimes she is "faking" it. She used to show me in so many ways how much she loved me and how much I meant in her world. Now I feel she has fallen out of love with me. I know that what she has gone through is devestating and that her heart is broken. But I hurt too. She won't talk about the m/c's, her depression or her feelings. She is seeing a counceler and I'm seeing a different one. Her belief is that she needs to work on her problems, I work on mine, then we work together. I don't agree. She says she still loves me "madly", but right now she can't even take care of herself let alone me. She says she is confused, doesn't know what she wants to do. She doesn't want to make a rash dicession right now because it may be the biggest mistake of her life. She also says that she knows the m/c's are not my fault, but she accociates me with them. Even though this hurt to hear, I'm glad she told me. I love her with all my heart. She would always write to me "My heart is yours it is you I hold on to". She used to think that we were soulmates. I believed that. Untill now, it's like she has doubts about are marriage. I'm so confused! Last friday 1/25 was her first due date. She left the house to stay at her mom's spare house 15 mins. away. She said she needed "space" to sort out her feelings. She is still staying there this week so far. I know that since Nov, I haven't been the same either. I've been depressed thinking that she may leave me or not love me anymore. I've been clingy and I've been smothering her. I've been trying my hardest to fix the things about me that would upset her. Except I have trouble giving her space, being co-dependent on her and I keep wanting to talk about our problems. Since friday I haven't called her. I would wait for her call. And she would call me before she goes to bed each nite and when we hang up the phone she still tells me that she loves me. All I want to do is fix things, but I know that I alone can't make her "happy", it's something that she needs to find. I miss my best friend!!! We used to be in-seperable. We've been together for four years and married for two. I don't know what to do? She doesn't either, she wishes she did know what to do. Her doctor put her back on birth control, checked her under-active thieroid and gave her a different dose. But that was a month ago and I don't know that much has changed. I'm hurting bad from how much she is hurting. I 'try' not to show much negative feelings around her. I try to be positive, but it doesn't always work out so well. Damn I wrote alot. Theres more. But I will spare you for now. Has any one else felt the same or know what we're going through?
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