Back in Dec 2004 on Dec 12 my water broke and I called 911 to come get me. They told me to lay on my side so that it would help (i was like huh?) The ambulance finally arrived and took me to the hospital. They did an ultrasound and there was still a heartbeat, but no fluid what so ever. The next morning I had a visit from my youngest sons adoptive mom and told her that I had made the decision to go on and give birth because the doctor told me that there might be the chance that nothing happens, and I had my oldest son to care for and couldnt stay in the hospital for a long period of time. Michael Zane was born on Dec 13 at a lil after 9 am. His heart was still beating. He lived for up to an hour or so. While I was holding him I was talking to him about everything that we could have done, and that mommy, daddy, and nanny and his brothers loved him. I told him that if he wanted to leave to go Home now that it was ok. The nurse came in and checked his heart about 10 minutes after that and he was gone. I went into a deep depression, even though my oldest son was still with me, I lost 60 pounds in 3 weeks because I didnt hardly eat at all. I finally snapped out of it, but still go into a depression phase when Im at home and around the holidays, or when my son is alseep.
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