Well I sit here and have been thinking about where I was at this time last year. Last year I was looking forward to mother's day and to the coming months. I was sixteen weeks pregnant and I thought totally out of danger. Then on June 6, 2007 I got a different story. I can remember even going shopping for maternity clothes about this time last year. Making a maternity top with the sewing machine that I got for Mother's Day. I will have you know I have NOT used that sewing machine since. I just cannot face it. Sunday the emotions hit me again while we were at the cemetary. We are celebrating Mother's Day with my Mom, and are supposed to go out to dinner. My hubby doesn't wanna cook that day, so he suggested we go out for dinner. Well I am not sure how I will feel that day so I guess we will see. I just know that it is really hitting hard that like I said at this time last year we were so excited and happy about Nicholas being here only to have him snatched away from us. I just don't know what to do or think these days. I have a very supportive husband who luckily for me does NOT want me to go to a real job. He just doesn't think I can handle it emotionally I guess. I do work on his lawn business and also at my sisters campstore during the summer, so that does help. I like I said have been dealing so much more with these emotions these past few weeks as the actual day that we lost him approaches. Sorry to ramble just needed to express these feelings.
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