I have been out of work since I June 1st from being extremely ill during my first pregnancy (also unplanned). I'm trying hard to get through each day without being pregnant now. I adore each woman with a beautiful pregnant belly but am very sad also. I had the first D&C July 15, had 2 weeks of painful contractions and lots of bleeding. But my abdomen distended and I was in extreme pain soon after the 2 week check up. The ultrasound showed a lot of leftover pregnancy products so I was put into labor for a weekend until I could get a followup ultrasound. I ended up with a second D&C August 5. Immediately the pain increased again and now I have a severe uterine and bilateral ovarian infection. I'm on 3 antibiotics. So far I have had no fever and my WBCs have not increased so I don't need to be hospitalized for IV antibiotics, YET. But I am not safe until the antibiotics are done and blood tests rechecked in 10 days. For now I am on house arrest basically with minimal function to try prevent getting hospitalized and losing my uterus. I'm in a lot of pain but since I have fibromyalgia I am expected to just deal with the pain which is completely unfair. I'm having nightmares from the raging infection and getting little sleep. I would like to move on and even start getting healthy to try for another baby but my body is failing me. I just don't know what to do because I am so restricted. I am losing hope. In addition, my husband and family have been doing their best to help me through each hospitalization, multiple endless dr. appointments. But my husband has now regressed and is acting like a boy again - as if he's realized he just wants more selfish time for himself. I feel he's scared now and now I would do anything to try for another baby. How can he be so insensitive??? I'm working so hard on doing as much on my own everyday while I sit alone on house rest, complain very little unless I am needing serious help (which I've needed a lot of because everything keeps going wrong). Where is the empathy? I have so many feelings I can't get it written down. Please, offer me some advice or hope. I can't get the thought out of my head that if I continue to have this raging infection, then I will be hospitalized, on antibiotics, scar severely affecting future pregnancy and possibly lose my uterus. I'm terrified! :(
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