I am a mom to 3 beautiful boys, but also a mom to 4 Beautiful Angels. I had a miscarriage in High School and never really new I was pregnant till it was to late. Our baby had already died and I had started having a miscarriage before I found out. After that I married my husband and got pregnant to him again and had our first son no problem, he was a month early but healthy. A few months after him I got pregnant again. I had just found out I was pregnant and hadn't even gone for and ultrasound yet when I miscarried again. We then waited another 2 years before we decided something was wrong and we wanted to know what because we weren't getting pregnant. So we saw a fertility dr and he told me I had PCOS. And we did fertility treatments for a year and finally got pregnant. We were so excited. Everything looked good in the first ultrasound. and at our second appt. he told us there was no heartbeat and the baby had stopped growing. We were 9 weeks or so, and it stopped around 8. We were devistated. It was Dec. 21, 2000. Needless to say my Christmas was not a good one that year. I went into a very deep depression for quite a long time. I found out we were expecting again On Valentine's day 2001. We were happy but scared. My husband wouldn't even talk about it. He was to scared to get attached for a long time. I wasn't aloud to tell anyone for 4 months. He wouldn't let me. Our son was born just fine. He was a month early as well but Healthy. It was 7 years and we thought we weren't going to have anymore kids because it had been so long and we hadn't got pregnant. Then I found out we were pregnant again in Feb. 08. He was born healthy and a month early. Then in July of 09 I found out I was pregnant again. We were so excited. I made all kinds of plans. At our first appt. Everything looked great heard the heartbeat and everything. Our second appt. last Tuesday 8/18/09 the dr told us I am sorry but there is no heartbeat. Our baby was supposed to be 9 weeks and 3 days. Our baby was only 7 weeks 4 days or so. We were Heartbroken. The dr told us our options and I couldn't bear to wait to let it happen naturally so I chose the D & C. I went in on Thursday 8/20/09 and my husband and my friend went with me. When they took me in to the OR I cried profusely and I was shaking like a leaf. They gave me meds to help me relax but nothing helped. My nurse held my hand the entire time. The nurse told me I cried & shook even after they put me to sleep and I remember waking up crying and shaking in the recovery room. I remember hearing the nurse say please give her something she is in so much pain. So they gave me something. It help me stop crying but then I couldn't cry for 2 days. I felt numb. I still feel that way at times but I am trying my hardest to stay together for my husband and kids. I know it will take time but I still have so many emotions flooding me all the time it gets hard to deal with. I loved my babies so much.
Sorry this is so long.
Sorry this is so long.
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