Yesterday, my hospital held a memorial for all of the babies miscarried in the past 6 months. Even though its been almost 4 months since my miscarriage & I feel pretty good now, it was a healthy day of grieving and closure. All of the miscarried babies were cremated together and buried in a local cemetar, so we have a sacred place to go and be with our babies when/if we ever desire.
One of the nicest parts of the ceremony was when the chaplain said how our loss is often ignored or overlooked and she compared it to a plain grape vine wreath she had at the site. She then had everyone present write their baby's name/special message on a ribbon & we each tied our ribbon to the wreath. Once we were done she said, "See, once where there was nothing, now there is something beautiful for everyone to cherish." It was really sweet.
Also, we were each given the opportunity to touch the box of creamains before it was buried. When I first heard this, I panicked. I didn't think I would want to touch it--what good was that going to do? Then I thought, I'd really like to punch it! I sobbed the whole time watching all the other mothers touch the box, kissing it and/or saying their prayers over it. When it finally came to me, I kissed my fingers & pressed them to the box. I was so amazed at how powerful it felt. To know a piece of me & my husband, our baby, was in there amd this was this last time we would ever be so close to it. It was another one of the most difficult things I will ever do, but I am so glad I did it. I am so glad I was there. :)