Miscarriage Support Group
This community is dedicated to those who have experienced the traumatizing event of a miscarriage or a stillbirth. Miscarriage remains one of the most common complication of pregnancy, but that doesn't make it easy to deal with. Join the group and find support in the company of others who know what you're going through.
Hello Everyone,
I am writing because I had a miscarriage on Friday the 13th of all days. I was 19 and a half weeks along with zero complications. The day started off normal but at 9 p.m. my life changed when I felt cramps and saw blood. I lost it right then and there. After an hour in the emergency room waiting to be seen I was taken upstairs for a complete ultrasound. The nurse told me the baby still had a heatbeat-so i felt a little better. Suddenly her mood shifted and I was rushed to labor and delivery. I was told that I had dilated about 5 cm and was about to deliver my baby. I was also told that there was zero chance of her surviving. At 5 a.m. my water broke and I knew that there was no turning back. I delivered her at 5:48 p.m. I have never felt such sadness. To make things worse I was completely alone because my husband had left town and was hours away. The nurse asked me if I wanted to see her to say goodbye. I couldn't do it. I do have a memory box with pics of her but I don't know if i'll ever be able to look at them. I can't stop thinking about her-for some reason my husband has already moved on and keeps saying that we can try again. I need advice from anyone who has experienced this. How did you get over this? When does the pain go away?
Please help.
I am writing because I had a miscarriage on Friday the 13th of all days. I was 19 and a half weeks along with zero complications. The day started off normal but at 9 p.m. my life changed when I felt cramps and saw blood. I lost it right then and there. After an hour in the emergency room waiting to be seen I was taken upstairs for a complete ultrasound. The nurse told me the baby still had a heatbeat-so i felt a little better. Suddenly her mood shifted and I was rushed to labor and delivery. I was told that I had dilated about 5 cm and was about to deliver my baby. I was also told that there was zero chance of her surviving. At 5 a.m. my water broke and I knew that there was no turning back. I delivered her at 5:48 p.m. I have never felt such sadness. To make things worse I was completely alone because my husband had left town and was hours away. The nurse asked me if I wanted to see her to say goodbye. I couldn't do it. I do have a memory box with pics of her but I don't know if i'll ever be able to look at them. I can't stop thinking about her-for some reason my husband has already moved on and keeps saying that we can try again. I need advice from anyone who has experienced this. How did you get over this? When does the pain go away?
Please help.
-
I miss traveling with my husband. Has anyone found a specific site regarding cruising for widow/widowers or any sightseeing trips. Not interested in being with couples and kids,,,I realize a cruise ship will have a portion size of families and couples, but perhaps they also put together a part of the cruise ship for groups of widows/widowers????
-
A friend sent this to me..As far as I can see, grief will never truly end.It may become softer overtime, more gentleand some days will feel sharp.But grief will last as long as Love does - ForeverIt's simply the way the absence of your loved onemanifests in your heart. A deep longing accompaniedby the deepest Love some days. The heavy fog mayreturn and the next day, it may recede.Once again, it's...
Communication is utterly wonderful between you and your husband at this point, though it is not easy to always strike up the right kind of conversations, don't be discouraged by his differences and take your time healing your hurt.
with love
jo
the pain never goes away. it is just covered and diluted with other joys in life. it takes time. it took me months before i would even consider having sex, let alone TTC again. we didnt TTC for about a year and a half after our loss.
you also must understand its not always an uphill battle. its one of those things that you may take two or three steps forward and one step back. there are good days and bad. slowly the good days outnumber the bad but it takes time.
you are in my prayers and i wish the best for you and your family. god bless you!
I want to come and hug u and cry with u. please take care.
As for your DH? My therapist told me yesterday that sometimes men do not connect with their child until she is born, not like us, or even sometimes later than that. While we are connected as soon as we see the BFP. Don't be too hard on your DH and tell him exactly what you need from him. My DH told me the other day that he didn't like me crying and hurting due to the M/C because he can't fix it for me, he just didn't know what to do to make me feel better. I think that might be what is going on with your DH. I told my DH that I needed him just to be there for me, hold me and I would feel better.
Again, I am so sorry for your loss, and I hope that one day you are strong enough to see the keepsake box.
i lost two pregnancies last year, the second one barely two months ago. my boyfriend and i were heartbroken with each loss.. he handled things completely different than i did. he cried with me the first couple of days, then he seemed all right. he and i are finally to the point where we can both cry and hold each other and talk about our children. before, he never wanted to grieve and/or cry in front of my because he thought he had to "be strong" for both of us.
men and women don't grieve the same way, we weren't made like that. also, he wasn't bonded to your child like you were and always will be. we feel our little ones growing inside of us, our bodies changing. they just see our bellies growing.
its so hard right now.. but it will get better in time. allow yourself to grieve as long as you need to, don't think you have to be okay.. that you have to move on right away. take all the time you need. we're here for you, whenever you need us