wow i am so deeply sorry and i feel for you even more for going through this alone. i think if i was alone i would be a complete mess. You just have to tell yourself that men deal with things differently than woman do. My fiance was devistated for the first couple of days and then he bought himself an xbox and now he's fine. Sometimes you need woman to talk to and we're all here for you on DS. My miscarraige was very recent as well but everyone says it will get better and i'm sure it does. But i know right now it doesnt' seem like it will. Cry whenever you want to and dont hold back.. it really helps. When you guys are ready to try i wish you the best and i hope it turns out great!

I am so sorry for your loss. I too lost my baby at 19 weeks on Jan 12/08. My husband too dealt with it very differently, he has been supportive but sometimes I did and do feel alone, this group has helped me so much. I hope you do look at the pictures. I choose to hold my daughter, but different things for different people. I think that you and your husband should look at the pictures together if you can and when you are ready. Maybe it would help him to grieve the real loss of his daughter, he never had her inside so it is different, he did not develope the bond. I hope this helps. I wish you all the best, if you need to talk I am here

I wish your pain to lift from you a little.

Communication is utterly wonderful between you and your husband at this point, though it is not easy to always strike up the right kind of conversations, don't be discouraged by his differences and take your time healing your hurt.

with love
jo

I just don't know what to say. I'm sorry seems so inadequate. Please know that I'm praying for you and your husband. Also know that your little girl will be waiting to greet you in heaven someday. She is not lost forever, she has only gone home to wait for you.

first i want to say that i am so sorry for your loss and the circumstances that made you have to go through that alone.

the pain never goes away. it is just covered and diluted with other joys in life. it takes time. it took me months before i would even consider having sex, let alone TTC again. we didnt TTC for about a year and a half after our loss.

you also must understand its not always an uphill battle. its one of those things that you may take two or three steps forward and one step back. there are good days and bad. slowly the good days outnumber the bad but it takes time.

you are in my prayers and i wish the best for you and your family. god bless you!

I am deeply sorry and i dont find words to support u. i can feel ur pain of loosing ur little sweet angel. I also lost my little girl 1 month ago while delivery. I was 39 months pregnant and lost my baby in labour.
I want to come and hug u and cry with u. please take care.

i'm so sorry about your little girl. to be honest, i don't know if any of us will ever truly get over losing our babies. i just hope your pain eases as much as possible.

I am so sorry for your loss and know that everybody on DS is here for you. I don't think you can ever get over your loss but they are right that you move past it.

As for your DH? My therapist told me yesterday that sometimes men do not connect with their child until she is born, not like us, or even sometimes later than that. While we are connected as soon as we see the BFP. Don't be too hard on your DH and tell him exactly what you need from him. My DH told me the other day that he didn't like me crying and hurting due to the M/C because he can't fix it for me, he just didn't know what to do to make me feel better. I think that might be what is going on with your DH. I told my DH that I needed him just to be there for me, hold me and I would feel better.

Again, I am so sorry for your loss, and I hope that one day you are strong enough to see the keepsake box.

i am so sorry for the loss of your daughter.. nothing we say can truly take away the pain you're feeling now, and we, too, have felt the same pain. you are always welcome to come here and talk to any of us, we know what you're feeling and how your heart is broken into so many pieces, you can't see how it will ever be whole again.

i lost two pregnancies last year, the second one barely two months ago. my boyfriend and i were heartbroken with each loss.. he handled things completely different than i did. he cried with me the first couple of days, then he seemed all right. he and i are finally to the point where we can both cry and hold each other and talk about our children. before, he never wanted to grieve and/or cry in front of my because he thought he had to "be strong" for both of us.

men and women don't grieve the same way, we weren't made like that. also, he wasn't bonded to your child like you were and always will be. we feel our little ones growing inside of us, our bodies changing. they just see our bellies growing.

its so hard right now.. but it will get better in time. allow yourself to grieve as long as you need to, don't think you have to be okay.. that you have to move on right away. take all the time you need. we're here for you, whenever you need us