Hi, I'm new to this posting. I'm 35 (a late-bloomer as some would say), and miscarried the week after I found out my mom has kidney cancer, just before Christmas, so my holidays were horrible. No heartbeat at 9 and 11 weeks. I'm terrified to enter the room of my house alone where this tragedy occurred. When I shop, I see babies at stores and have to run outside to cry in the parking lot. I work with someone in her second trimester who is sympathetic and supportive (I was 3 months behind her) but it is a constant reminder that I am NOT pregnant anymore. One difficulty I have is, others who don't know the updated news come up to me and still ask "So how's the mommy-to-be doing today?". I guess I learned the hard way not to tell ANYONE ANY news until AFTER week 12. Also I had a very difficult time putting the pacifier in storage - I had used it symbolically to mentally prepare me and my husband (who also cries daily). Being a late bloomer has me worried that a pregnancy might not ever happen again, or if it does I might miscarry again. My nutritionist is convinced that if I can get a handle on my health through supplements, I could carry a normal pregnancy. I want to be strong for my mom so I can concentrate on helping her go through her tests, surgeries, and follow-up treatments, but it is proving to be challenging. I still have moments of weakness at work but try to do my best. My heart goes out to others also who have gone through a similar situation and had a tough time physically, mentally, and emotionally as I have.
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