It is now Jan 26th and it's been 2 days since I went to the er because I had mild bleeding and the u/s showed no more hearbeat in my baby. Devastated is putting it mildly. Words can't even begin to describe what I am feeling right now. I don't understand this. I just went for my first u/s on the 19th and everything was fine and heartbeat looked good. If that wasnt enough to deal with. I was told one week before that it was twins when they did another u/s and then they said that the one baby wasn't moving, didn't have a heartbeat and then it "vanished" and now the other one is gone. I can't deal with this. I have stopped smoking, I don't do drugs, and I def don't drink. I have managed my stress and this is what I get in return? This is my second miscarrage I had one about 3 years ago but I wasnt this far along. This is so bad. I don't even want to see the sun come up anymore. Honestly all I want to do is lay in bed. I have to go for my D & E tomorrow morning. I just want to get this over with, so i can start to heal my uterus and everything and we can try again. And the messed up thing is it's not hard for me to conceive it's hard for me to carry? omg I just can't believe this. Why is this happening. I asked the doc and she said she didn't know why this happend it just does. Ok that's not good enough for me.. I honestly thought that It wouldn't happen this time around. I finally met a wonderful guy who loves me and my son, we have a great relationship and now this. I don't know what to do. I know that I want to try again asap as soon as I heal. I want to be healthy not just jump right into it. But I'm so afraid now more than before. How do I get through this. And now I have to wait again? I just want to fast foward time. Can anyone give me any advice? and if you need to ask anything feel free. Thanks so much
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