The other day it was beautiful outside, so me and kev(my hubby) went down to a local pond just like a block from my house. We went down there to relax and lay out on a blanket, after a little bit we start to talk, and it became a devestating moment for me. He was talking about kids, and how because with his past experience with his last marriage he isn't looking forward to having kids. He said that if I did ever become pregant he would love and adore our child but he doesn't seem to really want them. He is afraid that it will ruin our relationship like it ruined his last one. I know that if I wouldn't have has the miscarriage I wouldn't be all baby hungry, but I did so I am. I know that it is best to wait a couple of years so we get to really know each other so when we do have kids we are strong to keep it strong forever. Which I am okay with, we are finally at a point were things are settling down and we are communicating things are really good. But whenever I talk to him he just becomes cold, it hurts so much. I feel so alone, I know that I have you guys, but I need a shoulder to cry on, face to face, it's getting so difficult. It's just difficult to think that he doesn't want kids.
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