...with this bloody grief infecting everything I do. This Christmas would have been MJ's first & I'm finding it so hard to deal with right now. The pain is as bad as when I first lost her. I'm so fed up with the world going on around me as if nothing happened when to me it's just as if it should have stopped. I really really don't want to see anyone on Christmas day, I just want to stay in bed under the covers all day, but I have to be there for my DD. I just want to wake up & have it all be over. Does this ever get easier? It was a year in November since I lost MJ & some days I still feel so awful about it.
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