Hello i'm new to the wesite and thought i would share my story i am 23 have been married for 2 years i have no children but my husband has a 12yr old son which has some difficulties and resentments im sorry to say. we've been trying since we got married and i finally got pregnant then 10 weeks later on dec 16th i miscarried naturally everyone told me that it was very common and all women go through it at least once which didn't make it any less heartbreaking but it made it easier to start trying again. I found out i was pregnant again while getting my appendicis out due to appendicitis i was 5 weeks and prayed to god everyday for my baby, we were so excited started thinking about names and started saving for a pram, i was even showing! then at the end of April at 13 weeks i had an ultrasound b4 my appointment due to some bleeding and found out there was a baby sack but no baby it had died before it was big enough to show up on the screen we were devestated I had a D&C which was the worst experience of my life. my family was amazing but my in-laws were unsympathetic it was almost as if i had a cold i had to get over, my mother in-law picked a fight with me 2 days after the op and blamed me for my m/c's while my husband stood there like an idiot letting his mother go on and on i walked out distressed and disgusted at the whole conversation i have yet to recieve an apology and i heven't spoken to her since. the wknd after my husband took me to a dinner with his pregnant friend who shoved 3-d scan pictures in my face and another was showing me her 6month old my hubby yet to do anything sat and watched i left after the main course without my husband dramatic i know but i couldn't belive my OH, it wasn't the women's fault they didn't know. i moved back home with my mum i needed space and time and really i just needed my mum i know this sounds babyish but i was on the verge of doing something dangerous. I've had all sorts of tests and they can't find any explaination for my baby loss, so after a full summer of figuring myself and my marriage out we have began trying again but it has 4 months of no sex i couldn't face anyone even hugging me let alone having sex. but now i am terrified i don't think i can go through another m/c but i want a baby so much i can't not try i'm so conflicted and really scared does anyone else feel like this? i'm sorry i've went on for so long feels like i've wrote a book i know most have went through the same thing and my thought are with you all x
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