Well I lost Nicholas a month ago yesterday, and today I went to work at the campstore I work at on Saturdays. Well in walked a friend of our family with a baby that was so tiny. I was ok until after they all left. I promptly had to call my husband and say "I am having another meltdown." He promptly came to me and sat with me. I just sat and cried for a long time. I told him that I wanted to just have a jumping up and down fit. He didn't say anything, but he did stay with me. I just feel so horrible. I want my baby back SO BAD. I go to the Doctor this next Friday for a Ultra Sound to make sure that I am totally healed. I pray that everything is ok and that we can start to try again SOON. No one will replace Nicholas, but we do want to be parents. I just need someone to talk to again. Thanks!!
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