Well I lost Nicholas a month ago yesterday, and today I went to work at the campstore I work at on Saturdays. Well in walked a friend of our family with a baby that was so tiny. I was ok until after they all left. I promptly had to call my husband and say "I am having another meltdown." He promptly came to me and sat with me. I just sat and cried for a long time. I told him that I wanted to just have a jumping up and down fit. He didn't say anything, but he did stay with me. I just feel so horrible. I want my baby back SO BAD. I go to the Doctor this next Friday for a Ultra Sound to make sure that I am totally healed. I pray that everything is ok and that we can start to try again SOON. No one will replace Nicholas, but we do want to be parents. I just need someone to talk to again. Thanks!!
Posts You May Be Interested In
I have been here before, a long long time ago and now I am back.Forgive me for not just saying what I want to say,even under a triple dose of antidepressants it is still raw and seeping and I am hesitant at revealing it as at least under the bandages around my heart I don,t have to look at how raw and wounded.My child was cleaved from my heart by his own actions. my child of ten,turning eleven...
I gave my 2 week notice last Friday 13th. Now to join you fine people in a life of leisure and nothing else to do but to look out for myself....is it just me or does that sound pretty boring? My goal was to live to retire and I guess having to take early retirement because of health reasons wasn't exactly the way I had planned things. I just can't stay in that building that is reeking mildew...