My hubby and I have been TTC again... and I am sooo scared, but feel that the only way I can ever start feel whole again, is to be pregnant. Well my hubbies cousin and his wife were also trying for their first child. We thought how great it would be if we could both get pregnant at the same time. Welllll I found out that they r now pregnant!! The first reaction that came to me was sadness, and I HATE THAT!! I'm sooo very happy for them and they soooo deserve a baby. But I just can't help but to feel so empty and wonder what I'm doing wrong that I can't get pregnant. And don't I deserve a baby?? My due date was set for January 5th 2008 and as that day gets closer and closer I just feel more depressed and can't do anything but cry. I just feel that if everything would have went ok that I would have had a baby in a few weeks!!! It just breaks my heart over and over again. Will this ever get any easier???
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