Today im feeling really really terrible. As some may have read i miscarried 8months ago well technically, 9 months ago. Ever since we have been trying with no luck. I had weird symptoms over the last week that all related to pregnancy, i was sure i was maybe expecting even started to believe i was pregnant. I saw faint lines...excited, very much so until i found out they were shadows o fwhere the line should be. Gutted? Definately, all i want is a nother chance. The really low bit actually comes from a friend who lives in the same block as me. She has been in hospital with pre-eclampsia for the last week making her around 37weeks gone. I knew it was gonna happen and i tried to prepare myself for it-Today i got a text spelt out 'im upstairs x' My heart pounding and not wanting her to feel bad in away, i went to meet the baby. I cried and i cried and then a new feeling came over me since my miscarriage...jealousy. I feel terrible for it but seeing that lil baby just made me realise how much i want one how much ive been really wanting one for the last 2yrs. I feel im getting no-where, i cannot forget regardless of how many people are saying you need to stop doing this. I want my baby back and im so upset right now that i just felt i needed to share this. I feel so hurt and a failure, these feelings are so powerful that i just dont know how to forget.Im planning to visit the doctor tomorrow, i need something to lift my spirits, i need help!
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