ok it is not that he does not love your baby...it is just hard sometimes for guys to handle that kind of pain...we are also women.we carried the baby so we not only get the heart but the physical as well....so it does hit us hard...my scott almost for-get the date of the 14th and he said it was not that he did love her..it is just that he is trying to heal and there is so much going on around here that sometimes he still feels that she is not gone that she is here with us...see that i am pregnant again....i hope this help ..i am here for you if you need me...robin

Always remember that not everyone grieves the same. For him it may be easier to not think about it or talk about it. Although he may say he doesn't remember, doesn't mean that it's not etched in his mind as well. The most important thing you can do is love each other like there is no tomorrow. He may not want to remember right now. The pain may be too much. Perhaps he has accepted it as it was meant to be this way. I do not know any more than you do. When we lost our baby, my husband was torn to pieces. We talked about it and cried together. Then came a time where it wasn't spoken of and no one cried. At least not where the other one could see. We wanted to feel normal again. Then came a period where my husband would all of a sudden break down and start crying at work. That's when we started talking about it again. Then came the therapist, so as you can see the whole thing is a roller coaster ride. Hang in there and love each other. Only God and love will get you through. You will be in my prayers.

My bf did and does the exact same thing. In the back of my mind I think of him as an a**hole for being this way, but I also think this is just his way of dealing. I actually hear this a lot from other people, of how their men react twds something like this. So I know I'm not the only one. And neither are you.
xoxox

If he cried once, that more than shows he loved your baby. Men often hide their grief and handle it differently. I know it is painful that he doesn't grieve like you, but that really doesn't mean he doesn't love you or the baby.

I know exactly what you mean. I had my miscarriage August 11, 2007 and my husband didn't even cry. And I don't think it is because he didn't love our baby I just know he didn't know how to handle it.. I was very angry after it happened and it I think it was just to much for him so he blocked it out and tried not to think about it.. It has been 2 months since it happened and when I bring up Baby Heaven (my 3 year old named the baby that) he tries to comfort me and be understanding but I think he has learned his lessons on saying anything about the subject, because usually what he tries to say comes out wrong and either makes me cry or makes me mad.. When it first happened he kept calling the baby tissue because that is what the dr. called the baby, and that made me mad. And then he told be to try not to pout about about it and I told him, well actually I yelled at him that I didn't break my fingernail, I lost a child so I am entitled to cry.. I think it is just that guys aren't for sure how to handle those situations.. It is just easier not to think about it..

He is dealing with it his way.Doesn't mean he doesn't care.It is harder on us knowing we carried a life in side for a vey short time.

i odn't think you should take his responce as he didn't love you or the baby some guys deal with pain differently i know that my brain blocks out bad things that happen to me

It's not that he doesn't love you or the baby, it's that he's a guy. Guys grieve differently than women. My husband cries about our baby, but he usually won't let me see it. I have to walk in on him in the act. He'll never forget the baby, it's just that the grief thing is done differently with guys. Most guys were taught to suck it up and not to cry. So they carry that instruction given to them as children into adulthood and fatherhood. Plus, men don't get the luxury and gift to be able to carry babies. We do, so we feel a special bond with our babies, that dads don't always get. I wonder if he'll just listen while you talk about baby? Maybe try talking about your feelings about the baby in a no pressure situation for him to have to say anything. Guys also have a hard time expressing their feelings verbally. May be he can be a listening ear, you need that. And tell him that you need him to listen. Tell him how much you need him. Maybe he'll come around.

I am having the same problem w/ my hubby, He keeps asking me why I would want to remember. When I try to talk about it he tells me that there was nothing I could do and to stop dwelling on it, it is not the answer that I want to hear from someone that should also care. I finally came to relize that he can not grieve the same way and maybe he can not associate that the baby was alive since he never went to the doctors visits with the sonograms and he only went once for the heartbeat. Did he go to the app.? Give it time you both will make it through this.

someone do correct me if im wrong, but i dont think i have yet met a man who shows hurt or greiving by cring, my partner is the same, im not saying that he didnt cry at all, but we had a stillborn baby 18months ago, he did cry when we had him and maybe twice after that, but now he hardly even speaaks his name, why is or why has it always got to be the woman who isnt getting over it as they say, im not saying he doesnt think of our son, but it doesnt show very often, and it is always me who starts speaking about him, he wouldnt just bring our son up to start a conversation, cried a handful of times and 18months i sit here and cry now, who knows what men are made of,or why they have to be so differnt, just wish sometimes i too could be like this.

I know how your feeling, my boyfriend didnt cry when it happened i felt like he didnt love me ect but he was just being strong for me as he pointed out that if he cryed it would of made me 10 times worse. He didnt even think of our baby as a "baby" it was just a lump of cells to him which that really hurt when he said that but i know he is hurting deep down so just keep on smiling and just remember he will be hurting as well. Its sad to hear that you lost you baby on the 8th of Aug thats my bday i will remember that ur lil baby

when i lost my second baby my bf didnt show any emotions until we got home from the dr. and he hugged his little boy then he cried. and we are expecting again and he is afraid to be happy.

my dh doesnt show his emotions. but thats men for you. they are being strong for us. dotn think he doesnt love the baby or you. its just gone and life goes on adn they dont know how to deal with it so they put it away in their minds. like robin said, our bodies go thru this. mine changed alot in the 12 weeks i was pregnant and for nothing, i lost the baby. so for me it was life changing. but i know he cares and i'm sure he cares too. sorry for your loss.

Guys express themselves differently than women do. My husband didn't shed one single tear when we lost our baby. he hasn't talked to me about how he's feeling but i know it hurt him bad. My parents also had a m/c after my older sister was born and to this day my dad still doesn't want to talk about it.

We had 2 m/c's, and my husband didn't cry for either of them... at least not that I ever saw. I think I did enough crying for the both of us. He was more concerned about me... and he is always trying to find the good in things and wants us to look towards the future. Our baby tried to be with us, but couldn't get it right this time. I know that he or she will be with us soon. I think that's why he didn't cry. He truly believes that. He just didn't really know how to talk to me about it, so it seemed like he had moved on too. He never liked to talk about it too much because he didn't want to make me upset all over again. He even said to me that he has no idea what it felt like to have the physical loss, because the babies weren't inside of him. He will never be able to understand that emptiness, but it doesn't mean he isn't aware of it. I know it is frustrating. I'm sure he loved your baby and I'm sure he loves you... he has stuck with you through all of it. He might just not know what to say to keep from making you upset again. I'm here if you need to talk.