I went to the doctor on 6/9 with my husband, completely excited to see our first baby. I was 11 weeks pregnant. I had a transvaginal u/s and I immediately saw our baby on the screen. It was amazing.. but the nurse was quiet and didn't say anything. I started to worry because I thought she would start pointing out things and explaining but she just shut the monitor off after measuring and looked at me and said "I'm sorry but your baby isn't alive". Those words just continue to echo over and over again in my head. She just left the room while we waited for the doc. When the doctor came in she told me our baby was measuring as a 9 week fetus and everything looked fine except for there was no heartbeat. Maybe he/she had died that morning? I'm so devistated. I opted to have a d&c but I had to wait until Thursday 6/12. My husband's 30th birthday was 6/11. Everything that was supposed to happen didn't. Physically I am finally recovered from the d&c but emotionally I am a train wreck. All I can think about is everything I could have done to prevent this from happening. It's been 3 1/2 weeks and everyone seems to think I am over this but honestly it's getting worse. I cry every day and there isn't a minute that goes by I am not thinking about our baby. When does this feeling stop?
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