One of my cousins was visiting with me a little bit ago and she had her two kids with her; Jacob is 5 and Kadence is 8 months. I haven't seen Kadence since she was a brand new baby and I stayed away for a while following my miscarriage. Poor Lisa (my cousin) never knew I'd miscarried and so when she Kadence smiling at me, she said, "Do you want to go see Lorelei?" Before I knew it, I reached out and took her and held her. Oh did it hurt and I am not shy about saying I started to cry right then and there. At the same time it felt good. I explained to Lisa about losing Angel and that Kadence was the first baby I'd held since losing her. All she said was, "Lorelei, I am so sorry. I didn't know." and she hugged me. When I was holding her all I could think about was Angel and how much I missed her but yet it felt so good to hold a little one again. It felt good to know I could actually hold another baby again too, if that makes any sense. Hopefully this is a sign of better things to come. Do you suppose?
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