I know how u feel j-lo's preg really bothers me for some reason.

i know just how you feel...you are so not alone...i have stopped going to church all together...i am here if you need to talk...i still believe in God..but i just dont understand

I was really going to write a journal this morning on this exact topic. I was going to try to go to church w/ my parents b/c they are having their Christmas musical, and I know there won't be any preaching. It will be the first time since my miscarriage, and of course everyone there knows about it, but really I am just going for my Mom. I don't think I am really ready in my heart, it still has anger and hurt. I am here for anyone who needs to talk. Our God is awesome... i am just not understanding Him AT ALL right now..

I haven't tried to understand; I've only tried to accept.

I've come to terms with the fact that I can't know why everything in the world happens (and that I won't agree with the way all things happen). I figure it's like the behind-the-scenes stuff many of us experience at work: we may be privy to information that makes the nonsense make sense, but that information is confidential, so we can only stand steadfast as others yell, "WHY???"

I'm new here, so perhaps many will think me naive. But my m/c is helping me to see that there is MUCH outside my control and understanding, no matter how much I fight to know or understand. So I can choose to channel my energy that way, or I can accept that there are things I can't know and control, and focus on preparing myself for the child I am meant to have. (One of my concerns is being negative--and conceiving a child in the midst of anger and hurt. Call me superstitious or crazy, but I want my child to have the best possible beginning and be cocooned in happiness and positivity.)

I am Christian, though not especially church-y. But I do believe that energy begets energy. And I'd rather send out good energy and cultivate good energy for me and my as-yet-to-be-conceived child.

Again, I may seem naive. I do hope I don't sound preach-y. I just hope that seeing things from another's perspective may help or comfort you a little.

Take care of yourself. :-)

I have been working on versions of this question for years, in relation to events like this.

Sometimes, I think the only thing to do is just to make that jump - the "what if there is no God?" (For the record, I think there is.) So what do you get? A bottomless pit of meaninglessness and despair. The life of your child -- your own life -- mean nothing. All the immaterial things we care so much about are pointless and largely imaginary.

Feels terribly unsatisfying doesn't it? You KNOW there's more to your life and your relationships than just a bunch of random chemical reactions.

So it always lands me back in God's camp. Is it sometimes rough and hard to understand why? Yes. But there is the promise that SOMEDAY we WILL know. A sustaining hope for a better place for ourselves and our loved ones. And good, positive work to do in the mean time. It's a bad, ugly world (and our personal pain is just the tip of it). But this is something we have to cling to in the darkness.

yeap, my words i just read in your writing as if i said them myself, i will never understand, how or why all of these bad mothers in the world get to have children and keep on popping them out like it's nothing, i too am angry....

Ya know sometimes it is hard not to stand back and say why? But i've come to think of everything like this....
"If God brings us to it, He will bring us through it." I think that were all going through these problems because they will make us stronger woman and better people in general it may just take us awhile to realize that this things happen and that someday we can stand up and help others that are going through the same thing. :)

I've been having the same struggle. For the first time in my life, I'm angry with God. I know He exists. So, I don't think it's a question of faith. I'm absolutely furious that He couldn't let me have this. I've had family killed, been raped, been on an IV for 4 months with Lyme disease, been cheated on and left by a husband, and more. And, this m/c pushed through me over the edge. Enough is enough. I'm furious.

And, I know it's not helping anything. Prosperity is right. Energy begets energy. I want to conceive and have a healthy baby; so the anger is worse than useless. It's potentially harmful. The question is how to get to that point of acceptance? I know it's futile and probably even arrogant to be angry with God. But, it's really hard not to be.

I'm going to tell myself that I have to let go of the anger for the next child. That's the focus now, I guess.

I posted something from the bible that might be helpful to you in my journal. I lost faith after my first m/c but since my 2nd m/c I've been tight with God. I know he already has this stuff planned out. Maybe we will be better, more loving parents now. We won't take it for granted...that's for sure. Things could always be worse. God has a plan and won't give us something we can't handle.

I am Christian and ask daily that God take the pain from my heart. Women like us don't deserve this pain. WHile women like Brit who don't give a damn about her kids continues to have them. I know it's not fair. It's quite f'd up actually. I still attend church, because I know my blessing is coming, but it gets hard sometimes, espcially with Christmas coming to stay strong. I hope no one was offended by my little tantrum there, but that's how I feel.

My sister told me something. She said God was an easy target. He is big enough to take anger. She said try to blame satan for telling me lies. Another thing is God ALLOWS things to happen. I am still working on this. Thanks for all the replies. We do have to hold on to our faith, or life is meaningless and we plummet deeper and deeper into despair. Let's be fighters. :)

We can't question His plans for us, but sometimes it is so hard especially when we want something so bad as a baby. I dare you to vent and maintain your faith.. Is is hard? Yes but trust me there are many of us out there that are frustrated and then we hear these careless people have precious when they can't even take care of themselves. It is so frustrating and can anger anyone. I was frustrated, angry, and confused... It is hard to maintain your faith at this point but don't loose the faith. We are hear to support you and understand.

I am glad to hear people strugglig with the same things as me. Since my last miscarriage I have had two main thoughts cycling in my head: why would God let this happen and why do people like Britney Spears get to have lots of babies. I have been a Christian all my life but things like this test your faith. At least it is comforting to know that, like someone already said here, God can handle your anger and doubt.

Last night my husband told me our baby Sara was spending Christmas with Jesus. That makes it a little easier to accept her not being with us. We can't question God's motives, we just have to accept that He has a plan for us, and also has a plan for our babies that we have lost. For whatever his reason was, he kept our baby Sara with Him, so that she could do amazing things in Heaven. I struggled for months after the m/c, but after months of feeling sorry for myself, feeling like a failure, God kicked me in the butt and reminded me that His plans are divine, and if I'm sitting around losing my faith, then what would I have?