Miscarriage Support Group

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How to deal with 4 pregnant friends

deleted_user
deleted_user
Okay so I've been through a pretty traumatic loss before and had a heck of a time dealing with a friend who was a month ahead of me. I couldn't see her and when I did I would break down when I saw her growing belly. I didn't handle it very well So now this time around my sister in law is pregnant along with four other friends who I also work very closely with. We were all within 1-2 months of each other and joked about walking down the halls together as our pregnant posse. Now I don't know how I am going to deal with it and react when they start showing. I am really trying to be happy for them but when I look at them I know they still have their baby and I wouldn't wish anything bad to happen but it still just really bothers me. I have already told them that I may pull back once in awhile and to not take it personally, but it is just so hard. I've already been on the sidelines watching others have babies and now here I am again. I am really trying to just look at what I have to be thankful for today and not look to the future because I should see a new baby in it, and now I don't. Any suggestions to help me cope with the anticipated months ahead?
deleted_user
deleted_user
give yourself time. i made a good friend through our first miscarriage we both had at the same time, and then gett8ing pregnant again at the same time. now shes 20weeks and im not pregnant at all.

i stupidly wrot ein my journal that i hated that she was pregannt and hwo she was always going on about it and she read it, i almost lost her as a friend.

time is the greatest healer, i dos till get sad and a bit jealous when she tells me about whats happening with her bump/baby, but now i can be happy for her,

in time the sadness and pain has eased a little, but will never go away, and in time i hope to be pregnant again and as happy as she is now. i will never wish what i have gone through on anyone, and im sure you dont either.

all i can say is explain how oyu feel and take your time. dont force yourself to be happy for them all, it will come on its own.

good luck xx
deleted_user
deleted_user
HI! When you get the right answer let me know. I know exactly how you are feeling. I just pray. Thats all i know to do!!
deleted_user
deleted_user
It has been almost 2 months since I lost my little girl. I had several friends that are due about 1-2 months before me and I find it hard to look at them. If I focus on just their face it makes it easier, but knowing that their baby shower is coming up I don't know it is hard but I just force my self to smile and be nice, it is what I would want them to do if it was the other way around. Has anyone notice that there is alot of pregs around everywhere I look!
deleted_user
deleted_user
I feel like I am also going through what you are. 3 of my friends are also expecting and would have been due when I was. I am finding it soooo hard to look forward with them when I feel stuck with my grief. The only way forward for me at the moment is to lick my wounds and hope it will get easier.
deleted_user
deleted_user
Im going thru the same with my sister in law she is due may 8th. My due date was June 21st. We were so excited to be pregnant together. Thanksgiving was difficult having my 4 month old cousin over and listening to all the baby talk. I had to leave the room and go upstairs to a bedroom and cry. I am so thankful for my husband he has been my rock. I am having a difficult time being apart from him. He had to work today this was the first time we have been apart since the devasting day last tue when we went for our first apointent and found out there was no fetal heartbeat during the ultrasound. When I dont keep busy all I can picture in my head is the ultasound of the my baby with no heartbeat. I am devasted and cant help think I did something wrong. How do you begi to cope?? I have to go back to work on Mon and dont know how to face people.
deleted_user
deleted_user
I know exactly what you are going through. My Dp and I were trying to get pregnant for over a year and my sister got pregnant the first time she tried. Then we had a miscarriage and recently a still birth at 23 weeks. I can't be around other children or people who have babies right now. I hope I heal with time, it has only been a month since our son died. Life doesn't seem fair
deleted_user
deleted_user
I lost my son 3 weeks ago and everyone I know is pregnant. We were all due within a week or two of each other and on top of that, everyone is having a BOY! It's very hard for me and I know this might not help, but I try to avoid people at all costs. I know at work, that is not an option. When people start talking about babies, I just get up and leave because I just can't handle it right now.

I'm very sorry for you loss and I hope it gets a bit easier for you in time.
deleted_user
deleted_user
Thanks so much for your suggestions ladies. This isn't an easy road for any of us unfortunately. I'm glad we're there to support one another.
deleted_user
deleted_user
I know exactly how you are feeling. My sister in law was due 4 days before me, her pregnancy was successful, mine wasn't. For 6 months I had to watch her belly grow, and even though we didn't talk much (because I pulled away), I couldn't help but think about her pregnancy milestones and that I too should be experiencing that. Every day is a different struggle to understand this. Just last week my nephew was born, and I thought I'd be OK. I wasn't! I'm telling myself that a little piece of my baby's soul is in this new baby and that's how I'm getting through it today. I've tried to think of it a zillion ways, just grasping for a way to deal with my emotions. Truly, I deal with it one day at a time, as lame as that might sound, it's true. I break down often, but have many proud moments, when I can talk to my 3 pregnant friends and new mom (sister in law) and not cry my heart out and have a pity party for myself. I have found it helpful just to be honest with these girls and letting them know what i went through and continue to struggle with. I just hope that they can bear with me as I struggle to get through this loss and get pregnant again.
deleted_user
deleted_user
I'm going through the same thing. I have 4 pregnant coworkers, 2 pregnant cousins, and 5 pregnant friend, and 2 who just delivered in the past month. I just try to surround myself with positive prayer to get through each day!
deleted_user
deleted_user
I have been thinking about you ever since I read your post. I find it so hard to see PG women and to hear them talk about their babies and as for baby showers. Something I definitely want to avoid at the moment. Have just had a second MC. I can't stay home for ever though avoiding PG women. We have an assembly to go to next weekend and I am dreading it because there will be PG women there with their lovely tight bellies bulging from their lovely maternity clothes. My husband isn't coming with me either. Last time I MC it was the same time of year. I ended up crying on my M n' Laws shoulder in the middle of everyone at the assembly. Don't want to go there again. Maybe I will just stay home this year. It's just too soon to cope with, but if I do go it will probably make me feel better, maybe. The only thing that makes it better is getting PG again. Then it is not so hard to feel happy for others. I really feel for you. I hope you can find some HOPE to keep you going.
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