It's been 5 weeks since the D&C which marks my third loss and I haven't been posting very much as I am paralyzed by depression and grief. I am glad I have someplace to come where people understand what I am going through. I turned 32 two weekends ago and was miserable thinking another year has gone by and I'm still childless. My mother bought me the most adorable Chihuhua puppy as a gift. He only weighs 2lbs and will not get too much bigger. Here's the rub...I can't put the dog down. I talk to him and hold him and swaddle him in blankets, sleep with him in the bed with me--I don't let him out of my sight. When I take him in public with me people ask to hold him and ooh and aah over him the way they would a baby. I feel so pathetic--I'm the mother of a dog. Seriously, I feel like a psycho cradling this puppy and cuddling him, but I'm realizing that this is all I may ever have...Being an aunt and friend and the mother of a dog. I feel like such a loser.
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