My names Kristina, had a miscarriage at 5 weeks on December 2 2006 and unfortunately lost another at 7 weeks 3 days on November 10th 2007, How do you deal with all of this??? I know I was early, but we wanted this BADLY!! Everyone kept saying "everything is fine as long as your levels keep rising." My levels were rising, but I went in for what would be the last bloodwork on Friday the 9th..they said if anything was wrong they would call on Saturday...why didnt they call??? me levels had to have been dropping...atleast a little!!!Today I had to deal with all of the phone calls..cancelling my Ob appointment for my 8 weeks scan..That stuff that was so much fun to do suddenly became so dreadful..I was in the ER twice once on the 6th and once on the 7th everything was fine!! what happened?!? the first felt like something was "wrong" with the baby this one, I had no idea until I got woken up at 6:00 because of the pains...I feel so empty, again...Why does everyone try to find happiness through this? I dont even want to look at losing my baby as a positive thing, so what if my baby was deformed...What if I couldnt care less?? them were my babies..Why do all of the people that dont know their baby daddies (i mean between 10 people) and people who throw them away?? Why do they get kids and I cant even give 1 to my love?!?! Sorry for the rant, but I think I have finally hit my point...
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I have been here before, a long long time ago and now I am back.Forgive me for not just saying what I want to say,even under a triple dose of antidepressants it is still raw and seeping and I am hesitant at revealing it as at least under the bandages around my heart I don,t have to look at how raw and wounded.My child was cleaved from my heart by his own actions. my child of ten,turning eleven...
theatre and I are there already. I'm having a very berry tea with crackers, cheese and cherry tomatoes and she's having a joint with some beer and we're both on really comfy recliners on thick pile carpet. we need some help with the decor if anyone is around??