Miscarriage Support Group

This community is dedicated to those who have experienced the traumatizing event of a miscarriage or a stillbirth. Miscarriage remains one of the most common complication of pregnancy, but that doesn't make it easy to deal with. Join the group and find support in the company of others who know what you're going through.

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How do I cope?

deleted_user
deleted_user
I had my daughter, Natalie, stillborn on October 17th. I know this pain is never going to completely go away. But I get into these stages almost predictably every other day where I am hysterically crying and feel so helpless. I have been getting bad dreams at night, and all I can think of is how she never looked at me, I never heard her voice , and what stages she would be at this point ( being 5 weeks old). I have a memory box that I do go through, looking at pictures of her and holding the clothes she wore, just to feel close to her. I have been trying to make this a positive and learning experience (as positive as you can in the situation) and rely on my faith but I don't know if I am pushing myself too much too fast. I just need some advice on better ways to try to deal with this tremendous pain.
EmLou
EmLou
Hi

I have had 4 early MCs, I know its not quite the same but in my experiences I have found you have good days and bad days. The pain does get better over time, it doesn't go away, but it will ease off (i'm talking a few months, not weeks). Try not to epecxt too muct of yourself too quicklt. Its completely natural to feel and act as you do. When i realised that i did feel better.

Take care. Email me if you ever want to chat.
x
deleted_user
deleted_user
I am so sorry for your loss. I lost my son at 32 weeks. I really don't have any great advice for you on how to deal with this pain. All I can say is just, let yourself grieve. Don't push yourself to feel better. Give yourself a break. This is such a heartbreaking a traumatic experience. It is going to take some time to feel normal again. If you feel like crying or screaming, do it. I did it. I also wrote a long letter to my son. Just telling him what I wish could have been and how much I love him. It helped. Hang in there.
deleted_user
deleted_user
I am so sorry for your loss. I know that when I lost my baby girl it took me a very, very long time to be able to look at the situation as anything other than devastating and horrible. I still think it is actually. You sound to me to be coping as expected. This pain is tremendous and it's not going to go away soon. I would say that it took me a good ten months to even really be able to laugh and smile again, so please dont be too hard on yourself for not moving forward more quickly. The feelings of loss and wondering what your daughter would be doing and what she would look like will stay with you forever, but just remember that she also is with you forever in your heart. I have found that talking and sharing my story has really helped me. I also would write poems to deal with my anger and grief. So anytime you need an ear to listen, I'm here.
Jen2279
Jen2279
I lost my son at 25 weeks 9 months ago. It sounds like how you're feeling is normal. I would say just let yourself grieve. It's such a long process. I still have bad days, and think of how hold my son would be. It's not a pain that will go away, just something you learn to live with. I find talking about it with people that understand helps me.
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