SO over all I think I've been doing really well with my grief, its almost been two months since my babys been in heaven . I have found an outlet to express myself and now im trying to look forward to skipping through this next few months until we can try again (2 down, 4 to go! woohoo) anyways.... One of the things that brings the sting right back to my heart is hearing my son talk about the baby. It seems like 7 out of 10 times we pick him up from school he has a comment. My son is still only 5 years old. but DAMN...his words kill me. Jeremy is a very sweet child, he would NEVER try to hurt me in any way. He is very loving and tells me and his daddy that he loves us about a MILLION times a day. Jeremy knows that our baby is gone but he keeps making comments like " Mommy don't say that word the baby will hear you"...or "when is our baby going to finally be here". Like I said, he knows our baby is gone...but I'm not sure why he keeps saying these things. Ohhh it hurts so bad. More then anything I wanted him to have a brother or sister to play with. Last night when we got home from a VERY STRESSFUL day of running the roads..Jeremy said "mommy, do you remember that time I accidently kicked you in the stomach in the pool, maybe thats why our baby's heart stopped beating"... It literally took my breath away. I had to sit down on the bench outside...I immediately started to cry and he just looked at me with a questioning look... I held him close and told him not to think that way. I was at a loss for words. When my husband came back from checking the mail he said " Shay he is a child he doesn't know any better, don't let him see you cry". I was not mad at Jeremy, it just brought everything back I guess. I don't want him to have any doubt in his mind that this was his fault. What should I do? How did your other children handle this whole situation? I'm so confused right now...any suggestions?
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