Miscarriage Support Group

This community is dedicated to those who have experienced the traumatizing event of a miscarriage or a stillbirth. Miscarriage remains one of the most common complication of pregnancy, but that doesn't make it easy to deal with. Join the group and find support in the company of others who know what you're going through.

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Has anyone gone through this?

deleted_user
deleted_user
Yesterday was Thanksgiving, and most people (including my own doctor) said that the holidays should be nice and keep me busy and my mind off of my still baby (born Oct 17, she would be 5 wks old this week). Well let me say, I just felt worse. I was happy because of my son (it's his first Thanksgiving to really participate in), but I had this overwhelming guilt inside for Natalie (my still baby) not being here. Then it went from guilt, to how did I not know she had passed away, I was 40 wks pregnant and didn't know she was gone. I feel this responsible like I should have sensed something. With all the stress I couldn't stop crying and I wasn't make things much easier for my husband. I just started taking out my pain on him, but with indirect things, like what clothes to wear for the day, I turned into an argument. It's like I don't know how to express my pain so I transfer it into little everyday decisions, turning them into a complete meltdown where all I can do is feel guilt about my stillborn daughter and cry hysterically. It's almost like 2 steps forward one back. I feel better for a few days then I break down terribly out of no where. Anything can just trigger it (ex. I've broke down just doing dishes!) I have also been getting horrible headaches, could this be from stress? Has anyone else been through this?
deleted_user
deleted_user
Yesterday was really tough but I ended up going to my MIL's and I thought I was going to lose it there a few times. No one mentioned my son or anything. I had a few glasses of wine and I just chilled out for the rest of the day.

But that was only one good day. I have many more bad days then good. What you are going through is totally normal. Here lately I've been having TERRIBLE headaches. But I just started Therapy a few days ago so maybe that will help with my stress.

Just remember you are NOT alone. I to breakdown in all sorts of places. Everytime I even pass the hospital where I had my son I start crying.

I'm here if you need to talk...but remember it's totally normal what you are experiencing.
TexasMS
TexasMS
This was the 4th Thansgiving without our son Johnathan, Stillborn 6/19/04 and my wife and I both still feel the emptyness of him not being here to celebrate with us. We have 5 other children, 4 older and 1 younger but it still was not a complete family without him. It by far was not as difficult as 4 years ago, but we will always miss him and thats ok
deleted_user
deleted_user
I have good days and bad ones. your loss is fresh give it time.
deleted_user
deleted_user
It's been two months already since I lost my baby Patrick, and there are some days when just anything would trigger my tears. Specially when I dine out I feel guilty, because I think "I get to eat and my baby is dead". It's normal to feel like that sometimes, specially in family gatherings or when you are having fun. A song, a picture, anything could bring me to tears. Having to go back to the same hospital where I lost him was specially hard, because I got to see all those beautiful pregnant girls there. I hope time will ease those feelings, I wish you start feeling better soon.
deleted_user
deleted_user
I know how you feel. Yesterday was awful. Tyler was stillborn in June. I was 36weeks. This would have been his 1st Thanksgiving. My sister in law is going to be induced on monday. It was so hard to see her. I lost it in front of everyone. I could not hold back the tears. It was awful. I know everyone says it will get better.

I have a lot of guilt also. That is one of the reasons I joined this group. I feel like no one really understands. I will be thinking of you. If you need to talk I am here.
deleted_user
deleted_user
yes hun i know how u feel. thanksgiving was awful for me! this was the first year in my whole life that i didn't spend it with my family. i cried and i was alone. i didn't wanna be around people..esp. since my husband and i split the same year as the miscarriage. it would have been my baby's first official holiday. christmas, for many reasons will also be very tough. i already told my family i won't be over. depressing as it sounds, i just wanna sleep the day away..and that's prob what il end up doing. and as far as ur emotions go, im the same way. anything can trigger me to break down in tears. and ive also been having very frequent headaches...prob from the stress of thinking of it all. sorry we all have to feel like this. hope this helps...:)
deleted_user
deleted_user
yes hun i know how u feel. thanksgiving was awful for me! this was the first year in my whole life that i didn't spend it with my family. i cried and i was alone. i didn't wanna be around people..esp. since my husband and i split the same year as the miscarriage. it would have been my baby's first official holiday. christmas, for many reasons will also be very tough. i already told my family i won't be over. depressing as it sounds, i just wanna sleep the day away..and that's prob what il end up doing. and as far as ur emotions go, im the same way. anything can trigger me to break down in tears. and ive also been having very frequent headaches...prob from the stress of thinking of it all. sorry we all have to feel like this. hope this helps...:)
deleted_user
deleted_user
I haven't been through specifically THAT, but I have been overwhelmed with grief. That is what this is, my dear. You have every right to grieve for your daughter. It is still very soon after and you have to allow yourself time to heal. Sit down and talk to your husband about how you are feeling. Realize you are going through a tremendous loss and it is only natural for you to break down. It's going to take time. Don't push him away, he needs as much comfort as you do right now. Get some books about grief and read up on it. It might help. Count your blessings and know your Natalie is a sweet angel watching over you. It IS going to be ok. My prayers are with you!
deleted_user
deleted_user
Hello - what you are experiencing is completely normal. I just lost my baby boy at 17 weeks and all I do is cry. I'll be ok one day and see a baby boy somewhere and start to cry. I'll start balling uncontrollably just watching a simple commercial. Just like erinot, I was at my MIL's and NO ONE mentioned my miscarriage and this is the 1st time I've seen them since it happened! People are so strange. I think you just need to grieve and let yourself do it.
deleted_user
deleted_user
Thanksgiving was tough for me too. I have four children so I try to pretend things are okay for them but Thanksgiving day was also exactly three weeks since I lost my angel and it was a bad day. I just kept thinking that I should be pregnant still. I have anxiety attacks over everyday little things. My mom called and wanted me to come over this morning and the thought made me so nervous I just told her I couldn't. I get angry over little things where I believe the real issue is the pain and guilt I feel over not being able to carry this child. You are not alone and I;m here for you if I can help.
deleted_user
deleted_user
Hey there. I think that part of the grief process is to feel guilt, which sucks because you are already grieving your loss. So, please try not to put that burden on yourself. You did nothing wrong. One way I got through my daughter's loss is to completely focus my energy on something. So, for the first Christmas after I decided to dedicate an Angel tree for her. I used all white lights and every ornament was either a white ball with pink ribbons or angel ornaments. I turned this into my mission and it helped get me out of the house and focused on something. Just an idea that helped me. I still have my Angel tree that I add a new ornament for my 2 yr old son, and will now add an ornament for the baby I just lost. I like to look at the tree and know that the tree is dedicate solely to my little angels.
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