I tell myself that I shouldn't be upset or annoyed....or jealous, but I just can't shake this feeling that they don't care. I have two friends that are tossing around the idea of having a baby and may have already started trying. One of the friends has a four year old. My "problem" is that they want to talk about how they want another child, or how they want to start a family, and how much they can't wait to have a little one around. WELL...guess they kind of forgot that I lost mine last christmas...that it will be a year this christmas....and they want to gab my ear off about how they want a family. It's like they don't even acknowledge that I had a m/c....it's like they have completely dismissed the idea and that I should be OK by now. BUT I am not OK....I don't think I will ever be OK. I guess I just expected people in my life to remember my baby like I do. It bothers me that they want to talk about their hopes and dreams of a family b/c I am slowly losing hope for mine....but it also bothers me that I can't be there for them. I just feel so childish that I can't put this saddness behind me and try to move on. I am already dreading the day when they say, "Guess what?? I am pregnant!!" I don't know how I am going to react to this...and feel like I am a terrible friend for feeling this way.
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