this is the first time i've ever done this kind of thing. I feel silly because I was only 7 weeks pregnant when I found out that the baby wasn't growing right. It didn't even have a heartbeat yet. I lost him on 7/5, after a couple of weeks of spotting and bleeding. I feel dumb because I feel like my heart has been ripped out, and stomped on. Everyone says it's time to move on, time to go to work, time to stop crying. They say that I am lucky to have one baby...and I know he's a blessing. We just had to try for more than a year, and it seems nobody can understand me. I might as well be speaking a foreign language. Sometimes I wonder if the baby made it to heaven, and sometimes i mourn the things i'll never do with him. People look at me funny when i ask these things or talk about them. I feel like I will never recover. People tell me this is abnormal, but it's never happened to them. I'm all alone in my struggle to survive.
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