Miscarriage Support Group

This community is dedicated to those who have experienced the traumatizing event of a miscarriage or a stillbirth. Miscarriage remains one of the most common complication of pregnancy, but that doesn't make it easy to deal with. Join the group and find support in the company of others who know what you're going through.

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Feeling resentment toward my BFF

deleted_user
deleted_user
I have been friends with my BFF for almost 20 years now. We have gone through periods of time when we just don't talk for awhile not because we're mad at each other but because we allow each other to have some space. The last time I spoke to her was to tell her i had a mc. I keep thinking I need to call her but part of me doesn't want to talk to her right now cause abot 10 years ago she had an abortion and I'm sitting her greiving for a child i knew for a very short time. How could she have choose to "kill" her baby. I know she felt horrible afterwards but she still did it. I just don't think I can talk to her right now.
deleted_user
deleted_user
Sorry if i upset or offended anybody by bringing up this discussion
deleted_user
deleted_user
You are entitled to your feelings. It's okay if you don't want to talk to her for a while.

However, I ask you to please consider that you might be personalizing your friend's abortion too much. Yes, you are experiencing incredible pain. But she may have been unable to support and care for a child when she ended her pregnancy.

Also, I wonder why your friend hasn't called YOU to offer her support.

In any case, I am sorry for your loss and will be thinking of you.
deleted_user
deleted_user
She has called once I wasn't home and sent emails to me.
deleted_user
deleted_user
Try not to hold it against her. She understands the pain of losing a child. Just because she choose her path doesn't mean she didn't feel loss. If you don't think you can bear talking to her right now then don't force yourself to.
deleted_user
deleted_user
I went through the same thing when I first had my miscarriage, my best friend and I got pregnant around the same time and she chose to abort and I wanted my child more than I wanted anything in this world. At first I could not talk to her at all, I felt hate for her after what she had done and I felt like I couldn't forgive her. But time has gone by and I have explained to her my feelings and we've actually been able to talk through emails and kind of get our friendship back. She told me after what happened to me she felt terrible and selfish about what she had done, but it also devestated her when she had her abortion. It is hard, and we try not to bring up her abortion or my miscarriage. I still talk to her about my son who I miscarried but we don't talk about the details of the miscarriage. I wish you luck. When I went through my feelings I thought I would never speak to her again, give it time you may surprise yourself. Your pain might just be to early to have her as a friend right now. I'm here if you need to talk. XXX Krystle
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