I did. I held the placenta, called my DH in, and had some closure and then said goodbye. Seeing the placenta confirmed everything and ...I don't really know how to put this...helped us feel it was really over and that the healing could begin.

I don't think you are a bad person at all. You didn't do anything wrong at all. You honor your babies with your memories. I know in your mind you know you did the right thing, but your heart is where the guilt is. I've struggled with similar issues. My son had lead posioning from breast milk. I know there is nothing I could have done differently (I didn't know the plates I was eating off of contained lead) but at low moments I still feel as if I poisoned him. Try to fill your heart with love so there is no room left for the guilt.

I think it's only natural for you to feel guilty. I feel guilty too for not doing alot of things. BUT...you are NOT a horrible person. You did what you thought you had to do at the time.

I am very sorry for your losses.

You're not a horrible person. I did the same thing when i had my m/c. i didn't look real hard at what came out of me, i just new my baby was leaving me and i didn't want to look at it, i just wanted it to all be over.

I'm sorry for your losses. I've had 2 miscarriages - one was a D&C, but the other went right down the toilet, like yours, and I still feel badly about it sometimes. I tried to look, but I was bleeding so heavily, and I was so sad, and I felt totally nauseous digging through all that was coming out of me. My husband was no help, either. He didn't think I would know the baby if I saw it. I don't know if I would have either. I understand your feelings, as much as I wish that I didn't.

I've felt the same way. I didn't know to save it... It wasn't until recently I realized I should have. But we are human, and in a moment of crisis our bodies react in certian ways. You can't blame yourself.

thank you all for your replies. It makes me feel better that I'm not the only one that did that. I'm still sad that I did...but thank you anyway...I am so glad I can talk to everyone on here about these things.

I also had 2 miscarriages and had to do the same thing, the first one happened at the hospital and the nurse made me right after I had our angel because someone else needed the bathroom!! The last, happened at home, I was alone, I just couldnt keep it. I wasnt strong enough for that by myself. You are not horrible for doing that, some things we cant control. You have no need to feel guilty, although it IS completely natural to.

I did the exact same thing. i bled for 12 hours straight. one of the hours was at home and that must have been when the baby came out, bc the doctor tested all the placenta and told me that nothing was found. so i feel bad to this day...like i flush the only reminder i had of my child down the toilet. but i know that there is nothing that i can do about it, so i just try to move on. i know this may not be helpful, but i understand u and agree 100%. i would have loved to see how tiny the baby was, and even though she might not have looked fully formed, it would have given me lots of closure. im very sorry for your guilt, but there are definately people here who understand the feeling.