I have just experienced my third miscarriage. For some reason odd numbers do not bode well with me in pregnancies. I had my first miscarriage in Nov '02 the weekend before Thanksgiving. It was devastating and my very first pregnancy. At the time, I thought I would never be able to carry a baby to term. I was able to get pregnant again fairly quickly, and delivered a full term healthy baby boy in Oct '03. My husband and I always knew we wanted more children and finally about two years ago, we decided to try again and just like that, I was pregnant again. I guess I was naive to think I wouldn't miscarry again, feeling like it had happened once and probably wouldn't happen again. Wrong. Two days after I took my preganancy test that came out positive, I started spotting and bleeding. The Dr. explained I had experienced a "chemical pregnancy" Had I not taken the test on the first day of my missed period and waited a few days, I never would have known I was pregnant in the first place. Again we decided to try again and again we conceived quickly and my beautiful healthy daughter was born in January of '09. I still wanted to have one baby before my biological clocked ticked down. My hub wasn't as excited at the thoughts of a third baby, but we tried to see what would happen and again I conceived the first month. Things seemed to be going well except I couldn't get excited or even think about December approaching. I told myself I was nervous and apprehensive about having 3 kids. Two of which would be about 23 months apart. My body did change some, but not like the other two normal pregnancies. I went to the Dr. yesterday for my first ultrasound. I knew right away something was wrong. The Tech did not speak during the exam and abrubtly ended the exam stating she would be back shortly. Instead a nurse came and escorted me to my Dr. who explained that the embryo had died at about 9 weeks (I was supposed to be 10 weeks at my exam). I now have to have a D&C, which I did have with my first pregnancy that ended at about 8 weeks. I know if we try again I will most likely have a normal pregnancy. I just feel like a freak and that I am the only one going through this again and again. I wonder what is wrong with me, that I keep going through this.I sometimes feel as though my worries about having 3 kids had a bearing on this miscarriage. My hormones are out of whack so I'm very emotional and trying to hide it from my hub and kids. My hub and I had decided this would be our last pregnancy even if it didn't work out and yes I really thought I would not have a 3rd miscarriage. I have thought about permanent birth control but my hub told me to wait and to think about maybe trying again. It just seems so stressful and I don't want to go through this again. Thanks for letting me vent. I needed somewhere, where other women understand how I feel.
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