Miscarriage Support Group

This community is dedicated to those who have experienced the traumatizing event of a miscarriage or a stillbirth. Miscarriage remains one of the most common complication of pregnancy, but that doesn't make it easy to deal with. Join the group and find support in the company of others who know what you're going through.

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Does it really get easier?

deleted_user
deleted_user
5 weeks ago my beautiful son Dylan was stillborn after 25 weeks pregnancy and I am finding it so hard to come to terms with.
He died as a result of my diabetes, and I can't help feeling that it was my fault and that I let him down.

Over the past 2 weeks, the feelings of helplessness, worthlessness and self loathing keep taking over more and more and I find it so hard to get through each day.
I have also split up with Dylan's Dad, and have guilt associated with our break up.

I feel like my life has ground to a halt, and I just can't see my future or how this is going to get easier.
I miss him so much, and wish I had the chance to get to know him - although I did hold him and have a photo.

I know that it is common to feel guilt, and even though I know that deep down there is nothing that I could have done, I can't help beating myself up over it and wishing things were different.

Please can anyone who has been through a similar experience, share their stories with me and tell me if it really does start to get easier with time and what sort of timescale that was?

Thanks
Bobby xx
deleted_user
deleted_user
Bobby my heart goes out to you. feeling guilt is a natural part of grieving and will ease, as will the terrible sadness you feel now. ow long it will take is different for everyone and you should take all the time you need. everyone here knows how you feel and we are all here to help each other. hang in there xx
deleted_user
deleted_user
We lost our son Gavin at 23 weeks pregnancy. It was horrible. The OB said they they did not know why he died. My whole pregnancy my blood pressure was elevated and I always have had a very high heart rate. But she said that maybe that had something to do with his death but she will not say for sure. But she put me on medicine to lower both before I get pregnant again. So in my mind I killed him and I feel so guilty. Everyone says it is not my fault but I just can not let it go. I am very sorry for your loss. I know how awful it is. I am here if you need to talk. I am not sure when it gets easier but maybe having people to talk to will help at least a little.
deleted_user
deleted_user
i had a miscariage three weeks ago. i feel the same way. mine happpened so early the doctors said that there wasnt possibly anything i couldve done to cause it. i kept wanting to as him how could he know what i was feeling. he doesnt have auterus and therefore cant carry life and thus he cannot tell me that it will be okay. no ifeel like i not only failed my unborn child. all he wanted was help to get his life started so he have a chance on this big blue ball and i couldnt even help him. then ifeel like i failed my also recently dead fiancee because he wanted cildren with me more than anything. i couldnt even give him that memorial to our seven year relationship. but mostly to myself because i feel like Godd out women here to reproduce and raise the young ones and i cant do that. i'm just so damn mad right now. but who am i mad at? sorry for the rant bu tif any body reads this and has anything helpful to say please reply!!!
deleted_user
deleted_user
I don't know if it's helpful but I really do understand how you feel. You can't help but feel that it's your job as a mum to bring your child safely into the world, and not doing so is a huge failure.
How you are coping with this and the death of your fiancee I don't know but my heart really goes out to you.

I feel like I'm going crazy, as I go through so many emotions - guilt, anger, hurt and the biggest sense of loss and emptiness.

I want to know why this happened, whether there was anything I could do, whether he somehow holds me responsible. I have so many questions that nobody can answer :(

It really helps to read these messages, as only someone who is going through or has gone through the same can ever truly understand how this feels.

It just feels like the world is such a cruel place, nobody should ever have to experience this kind of pain.

I don't really sleep much atm, but when I do I cry myself to sleep because I can't bear the thought of waking up to another day feeling like this.

It's just so hard :(
deleted_user
deleted_user
Thank you so much to everyone who has replied and messaged me.
I find it hugely comforting to know that I am not alone in my grief, and that my feelings of guilt and helplessness are a normal part of the process.

I am feeling a little better today, after 2 very bad weeks and the messages I have received have played a significant part in that.

I hope that I am also able to offer a little comfort to those of you who are also going through such a horrendous time.

Thanks again
B xx
deleted_user
deleted_user
My daughter was born still 2 weeks ago, and my husband announced this morning that he's leaving, so I know how you're feeling. I lost everything in two weeks. But this evening my mother brought it to my attention that although I don't feel like Im going to survive this or that the pain is getting better, it is. Slowly there will be moments that we can enjoy and slowly we will be able to walk and accept the road that has been paved for us.
I remember the first week was so hard I think I cried the whole time I was awake (which was most of the time). People would tell me that they would look at me and feel my pain. And of course everyday I STILL cry, but I don't feel as guilty enjoying a meal or laughing at a joke.
Being mothers I know our pain is never going to leave us, but I have faith that we will eventually find a place of peace and comfort.
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