Well when I woke up today I thought I was ok and now just like 2 hours later I feel like Im going to kill somebody. I dont know whatis wrong with me... last night I was in a bad mood. If you wanna know why you can read the last journal I wrote. aand today I am still mad ar my sister. I cant hardly look at her. All I see when I look at her is her belly and I just want that. I lost basically all my weight and Im back to almost my normal self but I hate my body! I just want my beely back you could say.... I want to lay there when I am trying to go to sleep and lay my hand on my belly.... Im so use to sleeping as certain way and now I have to just change my ways butit wouldnt be so hard to deal with if I had my baby! I just feel that I need to get away from my sister but I need my mom. So Im stuck here. My choices are to flip out because Im around my sister with my mom here or go some where and flip out because I dont have my mom with me! I dont knwo what to do but Im going crazy and all I want to do sit in my room by my self and cry..... Maybe I need therapy or something.. I dont know! I just want to get away from her. This may cause me to go without my mom. I might have to move out because I cant deal with her and if I cant now what am going to do when she has her baby. I dont want to be like this but I dont know what to do to make me not like this. So do I stay or do I go... I cant be without my mom right now and Im hardly ready to not sleep with her. She comforts me and I need her but I cant deal with my sister. Ive been in a bad mood ready to flip out since last night and i dont see it changing. I dont know what to do.... I just want to feel like Im at home when Im here and I dont!
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