i knew from the moment of conception i was pregnant. although my partner and i had only been together for a couple of months i was so overjoyed, and after a couple of days he was too. i had the love, excitement and support from my family and my beautiful best friend (who is a midwife, and although she lives 3000kms from me, booked her plane ticket to be with me through the pregnancy)... last week i woke at 5am in my bed alone bleeding and in pain. i crept in to my housemates bedroom and he took me to the hospital. i live in a small country town and after hours of poking and proding i was transferred via ambulance to a major hospital... this whole time i was alone and being treated by what felt like not so caring males. maybe it was just my state of mind, i don't know. my mum who lives 3hours away made it to the hospital just before they gave me the news that i already knew in my heart... i had lost my baby. on top of this they also told me i may never be able to have children. i'm having a really hard time dealing with all of this. constant tears and such a heavy heart. i don't understand why this is hapenning. i find myself looking angrily at women who treat their children with less than the amazing love they deserve and wonder why? why can these women give life and why can't i? i feel cheated and alone, especially because since i went into hospital my partner has disappeared from the face of the planet. i'm angry and so very sad. i'm hoping to find some understanding and support from someone out there who has been through a similar situation.
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