It's hard to know how to deal. I was due on Thanksgiving day - so my baby should have been a week old now. Instead, she's had her angel wings since Easter. It's hard to deal with this, and the holidays of course make it hard. If you haven't named your baby, I have found it very healing. I didn't know the sex of my baby, but I felt it was a little girl. So I named her Zoie. I've also read a few books about losing children and one in particular "I'll HOld You In Heaven" talks about what happens to your baby afterwards and why this happens. It also talks about how some women are losig their babies and how to deal with that when there are women out there aborting their babies.

If you haven't talked to a therapist, it may be very healing as well. If you need to talk, please talk to us, we are all here for you! I've found a lot of healing just in this website. I hope you have a peaceful Christmas. God bless and I am soo soo sorry for your loss.

Also - I forgot to mention, maybe find a way to honor your baby this Christmas. You can find memorial ornaments and necklaces and stuff online.

My son would be 6mos old when Christmas comes around. This would be his first Christmas. I was going to boycott Christmas. Some one on this site had said they had a Christmas tree in memory of their little girl. I thought that was a fabulous idea. I put a small Christmas tree up last night with only blue, white, and angel ornaments. I even found the intial T and put in on there. I thought this would make me really sad, but everytime I look at it I smile. It makes me feel like he is celebrating with me. I am going to always put it up and add ornaments every year. THANKS to whomever made the suggestion. I am sorry I cant remember. You are in my thoughts and prayers. Hope this is some help.

i lost my baby on mother's day too at 7 weeks and my due date was supposed to be 12-30-07. like you i've been doing ok but as the date gets closer i lose it more and more. i keep thinking 'in a few weeks i would have been having a baby' and picturing myself 8 months pregnant. i don't know how i'm going to keep dealing with these feelings either.

I understand where you are coming from. Our son Gavin was due 2/27/08. That is a week after my birthday. My OB was going to allow me to have a c-section on my birthday so we would have the same birthday. Now I have no idea how I am going to get through Christmas or the month of February. I hope I get pregnant soon so I can focus on that instead. I am sorry that I can not help other then to let you know that I am here if you need to talk.

Hey there,
One way that helped me get through the holidays was to dedicate our christmas tree to our little girl and now it is our "Angel tree." The lights are all white and there are angel ornaments all over it. We add an ornament for our son each year as he grows up and also an ornament for the baby we just lost. I know that doing this the first year gave me something to focus my energy on and I felt proud that it was "her" tree. Just a suggestion. Hang in there, the due dates are tough.

First let me start by saying, that you and your man are parents. Your baby just went to heaven. The holidays are hard. I can only imagine your pain as you face the holiday that was your due date. My due date was to be 2 days after Valentine's Day. Not the same, but I know that the grief spoils the moment for you. I deal by not subjecting myself to anything that I am not strong enough to handle (that includes family functions), and being selfish in that way. If people don't understand why you're not at the Christmas gatherings, then that's their problem not yours. I just ask that you protect yourself at this time. Do what makes you feel emotionally safe. That's what I do. I deal with this by doing what makes me feel best and not worrying about what others may feel, because this is not their loss. It's mine. Like your loss is yours, and you can feel anyway you darn well please, and it is ok. You have endured enough hurt, and deserve to have some peace during the holidays. Do whatever will make Christmas more bearable, even if it's just being with those closest to you or you and you man alone. Like I said people will think and say what they want, and it's their prob not yours or your partner's.