Of course it's okay to decline! You need to do what's best for you as you grieve.

So far I haven't had to make this decision. My best friend had several baby showers, all with friends who were pregnant when she was. She choose to go to almost all of them. She's so very strong; I don't think I could do that.

It is more than okay to decline. I was invited to three baby showers around the time I miscarried and I declined them. I still sent a gift. Which might be another hard thing to pick out. The first time I went into the baby section after I mc I stood there and cried.

In the end what is important is taking care of yourself. Good luck with your decision.

I had to go to two baby showers at work shortly after I lost my son. I wasn't ready, it was overwhelming, and absolutely if you don't feel ready I would say don't feel obligated.

I have something that may help you but I would have to send it to you via e-mail so get back to me if you are interested

I received two invitations on the same day for showers that were the same weekend. I was "conveniently" out of town that weekend. Actually I was out of town visiting my parents, but I would have looked for an excuse if I needed to. (and my miscarriage was 3 months ago)

If you don't feel up to it, send a gift with heartfelt congrats. If pushed just tell that you are happy for them, but you can't handle it right now. It would be worse to go and end up breaking down.

I definitely think that declining is ok. You have just suffered a major loss and you are allowed to grieve.

You need to do what is best for YOU. You are allowed to grieve and grieve in your own way. If the people having the shower are friends then they will understand if not then it's their loss. I was invited to a shower not long after my 1st m/c and my husband rang and declined and they understood completely.

I was supposed to throw a baby shower 5 weeks after I miscarried, and I talked to my friend and told here that as much as I wanted to be the host of her baby shower, that I just couldn't talk about my miscarriage when people start asking at the baby shower. She completely understood, luckly. It is such a hard decision, but real friends will understand why you are not there, and will understand that you are happy for them and their bundle of joy, but just aren't feeling up to celebrating this close to your loss. Good luck with your decision. Just do what's best for you. Will be thinkin of you!

I wouldn't go... That's just me. Right now I have this uncontrollable bitterness toward pregnant women.

My cousin had her baby shower not long after my m/c. Luckily the party was being hosted at my house, so I was able to remove myself from the scene at any time. Which I did. But, I think if it was anywhere else, I probably wouldn't have gone. As for you, did anyone know you were pregnant? Because I am sure if they did, they would understand why you wouldn't want to be there. But if not, the choice is really up to you. If you don't think you can make it, then don't go. Don't put yourself through something you know you wont be able to handle. Make up an excuse! (ex.your sick) I have to do that all the time because not many people knew I was pregnant. It's tough sometimes being "fake" like, but you gotta go what you gotta do.
xoxox