The begining of my pregnancy started of a little scary it was unplanned but with my b/f of six years, I am 23 he is 21 both young and not married not to mention an hour distance between us. Either way I wanted this baby and I did everything I could think of to ensure that nothing would go wrong, despite the gut wrenching feeling that always made me feel like something would go wrong. At first my doctore expected an ectopic pregnancy which was ruled out by my sonogram and they told me my cramping was just me not drinking enough water. Then November sixth I left work on ambulance with vaginal bleeding the ER doctor did a pelvic exam and a sonogram he said my cervix was closed and the sonogram showed my baby and a healthy heart beating. I was diagnosed with a threatned miscarriage and told not to worry everything was fine and to go home and relax and that I was ok to go back to work on the seventh the very next day i still had a bit of the back cramping and abdominal pain but not bleeding anymore but I wasnt worried because the doctor said I would still have some cramping because of some old blood might just be irritating my uterus. I went to dinner with my mom that night and niece and nephew and I asked her to drop me off at my house so i could get a few things that's when the cramping really started and the bleeding came back. I laid on my back with my feet up on a chair until my mother picked me up and took me to the ER again where everyone said i'm sure your fine a little breakthrough bleeding can be normal in some pregnancies. I knew before the doctor even came in the room exactly what was happening the pain was horrible and the blood just wouldnt stop I couldn't stop crying and when the doctor finally came in to do my pelvic exam he told me he was sure i was fine and then as soon as he lifted the sheet his face went completely white and he just cleanded me up and said i'm sorry for your loss and told me this happens in 1 of 5 pregnancies and that it wouldnt effect any pregnancies in the future. I don't know what i expected to feel after a miscarriage but I don't want to talk to anyone and I'm tired of all the txt messages from family saying I'm sorry and this is what god wanted. I'm not angry at god but i'm just not ready to talk about him and my baby in the same sentence. My appointment with my obgyn is today at 1:30 and I can't stop crying my father offered to drive me to the appointment but I just don't want anyones company right now. I want to be alone, I want to forget last nights pain and disappointment, I want to forget how happy I was when I found out I was pregnant but I can't. I just want to feel better.
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