Kim, I'm so sorry for what you've been going through! It was extremely insensitive for your brother-in-law to discount your loss. Your loss is real and should be acknowledged. All I can say is that he is clearly ignorant of how deeply pregnancy loss affects those of us who have suffered from it. It's so difficult that the people closest to us rarely understand how we feel. I will be thinking of you. Take care, Dawn

I had mine as well. I was due in January, so this was a hard month.

You have a reason to hurt. You lost your baby. I don't know what hurts more than that.

Scout is right...nothing hurts more than losing your baby...whether that baby was 6wks in the womb, or 6 months old. you still love that baby unconditionally. And what happened to you is the exact reason that i did not go to my family's for christmas. this is the first year i didn't go to my grandma's with everyone else. instead i stayed at home and slept...the entire day! very depressing, but i couldn't bear the thought of celebrating what should have been my baby girl's first christmas without her! i would almost feel guilty. but i am very sorry you had to go through that on christmas...we are all here beside you;)

Well i have to tell you that i had a christmas break down to. I would have been 5 months today, and it was heartbreaking knowing i couldnt spend time with him. He was taken almost 3 weeks ago on sunday. but good luck to you!

I did!! I have been able to cry less and less but couple of days before christmas I became very emotional every night...and I've been crying since. Specially when I see pregnant women....I have to look down, I ...find it very difficult to deal w/ but I have faith that God will grant me the serenity/peace one day, mean while I have my break downs and after that I feel a lot better.

Take care of yourself and cry when you need too, try to find a support group and surround yourself w/ people who understands your pain.

I;ll be praying for you and your 'lit angel.

I am sorry for your loss. I relate to the pain you felt, and to the insensitivity that your family showed. Both of those things were my experience this Christmas, too. Between our second miscarriage this year over Thanksgiving week at 18 weeks, a medically necessary hysterectomy 2 weeks later, two friends due to deliver this week, my sis-in-law due when our first miscarried child would have been in a few weeks, and finding out that my other sis-in-law is expecting, this has been the worst holiday of my life. All of us on this site are going through a terribly difficult grieving process, and the holidays just make it so much worse. Allow yourself the space and time to feel whatever you are feeling. You have every right to those feelings and if a breakdown comes along--let it out. I had several over the last few days and I expect they will continue for quite some time. I have decided not to deny them and even just giving myself permission to lose it when I need to has been freeing. I choose to believe that when family or friends don't acknowledge these losses, it is because they just don't know how to handle such intense feelings that come with a heartbreaking loss like a miscarriage. I know for some of them it is their way of protecting me (or maybe themselves) from such pain, in a way. Others are just plain insensitive, and I try and share with them my feelings about that insensitivity when I can, and sometimes just try to let it go since I know they won't ever be able to offer the kind of emotional support I need. I wish you luck in the coming year, and hope you are blessed with peace and healing.

I had my breakdown on christmas too sweetie. my cousin announced she was pregnant with her third child at christmas dinner. I just went into a room and lost it. I had planned on announcing my baby on christmas too so it was hard to see all of the stuff i'd planned for the day to happen for someone else. Not that I'm not happy for my cousin, but it just was a hard day. just know you're not alone and we're all here for you

I am so sorry that you have had to go through this. I m/c last week, and it seems like people think that you should get over it right away. My aunt just had a brand new baby two weeks ago, and my husband's cousin is due in February- so Christmas was really difficult this year. I wish people would be more sensitive to couples who have lost babies or pregnancies. It is one of the most painful experiences anyone can go through. Try to be strong, you will be in my thoughts and prayers!

Kim hugs to you I had a hard christmas also. I hope you are doing ok. I will send you a message instead of over typing your post.

I was due January 5th and I know exactly what u mean. I dunno if ppl just don't get it or just don't care. Just b/c my baby was never born dosent mean that it wasnt my baby!! I loved that baby from the moment I saw those 2 pink lines and I know that all of us here did as well. To us our loss is so unbareable and to other they think we should just get over it. I know exactly what u r going through and sometimes it does help just to vent. I am keeping u in my thoughts and prayers!!

Thanks girls. You have no idea how much all of your encouraging words mean to me!

You know, I have been a mess the whole holiday, but I didn't get why. Now I know---I thought about getting all kinds of baby stuff for christmas, but I miscarried in late October, so I forgot. It all makes sense now---thank you for solving my "bah-humbug" mystery!

You're not alone. I had a breakdown at Christmas, too. It's a long story so you'll have to read my Christmas entry for details.

I spent my Christmas with my whole family, including my sister-in-law, who is pregnant and is 6 weeks behind where I would have been. I lost our son 1.5 weeks before the holiday and wasn't sure how I was going to make it through especially since we had EVERYONE coming to our house. But, the answer was simple and came from a quite unexpected source: the liquor store! A bottle (or two!) of wine and I made it through. I also hid in my kitchen and cooked all day only coming out when I had to put more food out for people or to be polite. I also told everyone NOT to bring me a gift and when asked "why?"....I simply told them that, if it not had been for our son who is 3.5 yrs old we would have taken down the tree and not celebrated this year. People are quite insensitive when it comes to you loosing a baby in the womb. BTW: I would have been 20 weeks this week :(

Best wishes for a more mentally stable new year for everyone!

Hi I know how you feel we went to my sisters husband house and there was a girl 6-7 months pregant and smoking. we were going to leave and my husband jsut told everyone he wasn't feeling well and my brother-in law said "why are you pregant?" that was it i just bursted in tears and just ran out of the house crying this (try he didn't know we miscarred) but it still hurt that was 2 days before christmas and then I found out freinds of ares are expecting there 2 baby happy for them but it hurts and at christmas me and my mom got in a huge fight!!!! so my heart goes out to you people can be so cruel at times even your own family!!!! xxxx