Miscarriage Support Group

This community is dedicated to those who have experienced the traumatizing event of a miscarriage or a stillbirth. Miscarriage remains one of the most common complication of pregnancy, but that doesn't make it easy to deal with. Join the group and find support in the company of others who know what you're going through.

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Am I strange for feeling this way?

deleted_user
deleted_user
I have read multiple posts, messages, & journal entries from friends on DS where they cannot emotionally handle seeing pregnant women and babies. I don't have those feelings & actually still love to see & play with babies. On occassion I find myself a little depressed seeing pregnant women, but on the whole I find myself praying that they don't have to go thru the same thing I have. The only time I do get really upset is when I hear someone say they are pregnant when they didn't even try or when they say that didn't even want to be pregnant in the first place. I had to do IVF with donor eggs & often wonder why the embryo implanted...just to be taken away.

I feel like I am out of the norm because I am not hurt by seeing these women. Is this really out of the ordinary? Don't get me wrong I have horrible momments, cry uncontrollably, and often feel lost...I just don't feel bad towards others. It has been just over 3 weeks & I pray that I am not hiding my grief...just coping well. Anyone else have these feelings or lack there of I should say?
deleted_user
deleted_user
I wouldn't say I feel "bad towards others" - it's just tough for me to be around women who are pregnant because it reminds me of what I wish were happening to me right now. But I don't think anything that any of us feel is out of the ordinary - or maybe I should say all of it is out of the ordinary, since an experience like this certainly isn't ordinary. I think we're all dealing with this sadness in our own way.
deleted_user
deleted_user
I have many of the same feelings. I am still very sad about what happened to me, but I don't mind being around babies or pregnant ladies. In fact, sometimes it makes me feel better as it gives me hope! Not everyone has an easy time getting the babies they want, and maybe some of these women have lost other babies and now they are finally being allowed to hold their babies.

I don't think you are hiding your grief. I still cry uncontrollably when I think of everything that happened, but I don't let it consume me. I still want to be happy and celebrate LIFE with those around me!

I've learned with this experience that life is too short to not live each day to its fullest. Sometimes that is still hard to do, but at least I can say I'm trying!!
deleted_user
deleted_user
Thanks for sharing with me. I thought I was starting to lose my mind since I am enjoying having them around my after my m/c. I almost find hope from them & I too find myself thinking that I have no idea what they had to do get where they are. Thanks to both of you.
deleted_user
deleted_user
I'm a Labor and delivery nurse and I'm around pregnant woman constantly every day. The only ones who upset me are the ones who have had multiple abortions in the past or who take their pregnancies for granted and take drugs, smoke etc. I actually love being around babies though. It gives me hope.
deleted_user
deleted_user
After first losing my daughter I had a few weeks where I would see pregnant women & it would give me hope. I often wish I still felt that way, instead of the bitterness & anger that I felt.
deleted_user
deleted_user
The first thing I did after losing my baby was apply to work at a child development center. I couldn't handle not being around little ones. Although we have all lost our own babies, there is no reason we shouldn't be happy for everyone else. I would pray that no one has to go through what all of us have been through, so God Bless these women and their children.
erin317
erin317
I also don't mind being around babies and pregnant ladies either. I lost a baby girl last summer and had three friends who all carried baby girls to term and were due the SAME WEEK that I originally was. I didn't resent them at all. Everyone has their own pain and I'm not going to compare mine to theirs. I'm blessed in other ways. I married a really good man, I have a job, I'm healthy.

I do get jealous sometimes and it makes make me feel sick when I see people who neglect their kids or smoke, take drugs while pregnant. I work in an urban school for 12 years and I've seen a lot of shocking things but the teachers I work with are determined to be the positive force these kids crave. Sometimes I just want to take my students home and show them what a family can be like.
deleted_user
deleted_user
everyone deals differently. I find myself in the same shoes althougth I still cant be around babies or pregnant mothers. But what really gets me are the mothers out there I see that treat their own kids so mean or the ones that have a lot of kids but dont take care of them. I wuld do anything just to have a baby so I seriously get mad when I see this in society. It's not fair and then I say why me. Please stick in there and give yourself time.
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