
Miscarriage Support Group
This community is dedicated to those who have experienced the traumatizing event of a miscarriage or a stillbirth. Miscarriage remains one of the most common complication of pregnancy, but that doesn't make it easy to deal with. Join the group and find support in the company of others who know what you're going through.

deleted_user
A week ago I had a D&C after discovering that I had a blighted ovum. I was at 11.5 weeks. I'd never had any bleeding or cramping. I was having morning sickness and fatigue. And, I was even getting a little belly. I cannot understand how or why this would happen. It seems like a cruel trick. My husband saw the empty sac on the ultrasound and thinks I should feel better because "there was nothing there." He is simply echoing the doctors' words. But, I felt my baby. I'm sad and angry about everything. How do you deal with this?
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Jillian
Jillian
Since the first loss I have been seeing a licensed psychologist who specializes in fertility issues. I saw her the same day we got the bad news this time and plan to go back as often as I need to. I don't think I'd be functional at all without her help.
At first I could barely get out of bed, once I made myself get out and take a walk, it actually helped. So exercise, even if it's mild, is something else to try.
As far as the husband part goes, there's no magic cure there either. I do know that men handle everything emotional very differently than we do; this is no exception. The truth is they just don't bond with pregnancies as early as we do, and for him, it may be easier to act like it didn't happen. This, of course, is impossible for us and may even make things worse. It is important to communicate that you have different needs than him AND to give each other space to grieve differently, without judgment or pressure. This is extremely difficult on both sides.
I'm very sorry for your loss and will be thinking of you. You aren't alone. Hang in there.
You have lost a baby, even though it was an empty sac, and the feelings of loss are just as great and valid as if there was a baby there which had died.
All I can do is send you some hope, strength and babydust....hope 2008 brings you (and us all) a live healthy baby
Deborahxxx
If you want to chat please mail me xxxxx