i am feeling so angry and upset. mostly angry my partner doesnt live with me and when i found out that the baby was dead he wanted me to leave my home and my doctors and go down and stay with him and when i didnt he got angry. i was told at the 8 week scan that the baby had died at 6 weeks, so i went back for a second and it was still dead but my uterus had grown so they didnt want to do the d&c then they said to come back for another scan. i went to the doctors with my 9 year old daughter the next day to talk to him about the scan and on the bus i got three strong contractions and there was a huge surge of blood, there was blood down my pants even though i had a pad on. I walked up to the doctors, and she said he was gonna be late, so i walked into the toilet to wipe myself i lost about a liter of blood in the bathroom i asked my daughter to get the nurse, there was blood every where even on the walls i kept trying to clean it off, and the harder i tried the worse it got.... the nurse took me into the trage room and the called an ambulace when i called my partner he said hed come after work, i said he had to come now i was hemmorging he got angry with me.. i took the ambulance to the hospital and was bleeding so badly the blood was every where in spite of the fact that they kept trying to stop it. i felt like i had to pee and when i did there was huge chunks of baby and tons of blood i nearly filled the commode, when my partner got there he looked angry and when i reached over and touched me he said that i was going to be fine he looked at me angrily and said your covered in blood and having contractions, i dont think so jen". he sat in the corner with my daughter not being anywhere near me, and when i had to sit on the commode to get rid of the blood he left the room with my daughter ,,, my cervics was closing and the baby was still in there and they told me i would have to have a d&c the next day. i lost so much blood that they didnt want me standing, and my blood pressure, and hemagobin were really low. Paul didnt come for the d&c and i had to beg him to come up after he wasnt going to even thoug it was friday nignt , i went and stayed with him and he was yelling and screaming at me most the time and about a week after his sister came up and he took five days off for her he didnt even call and when her mother in law got sic everytime i tried to call him he said his sister was going through a real loss and that he had to keep his phone line open in case something happened even though he had another mobile he said he would text me later, and when he didnt i sent him one saying i was getting pretty sick of this he said he didnt have time to send me one back, then i said i really needed him here and wanted to see him the next day , he said i was a selfish bitch, that her mother and law just died and that he was going to put a spell on me so i got cancer, and that hers was a real loss not a fetus thats not a real life anyway...so after she left he came down, said he loved me and wants to work through this.... things have been allot better since but i still feel so angry at him, sometimes its like this huge dark void... and i feel like all the love i had for him is gone,.... i have two questions, should i stay with him, and try to work it out, or should i just walk away????
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