I had a misscarriage, it will be a year on June 28. I have been dreading this day for what seems like forever. I don't understand why I still cry ALL the time and think about it everyday at least once. It just seems to me that it is not any easier. My fiance and I were totally excited about our first child and then after the misscarriage he decided he wanted to wait. His sister found out the same day that I did that she was pregnant. The first time I saw her and her baby my fiances mother picked him up and put him in my arms. I thought I would die. Not that I would ever wish the unfortunate events of a misscarriage on anyone, it just really hurts my heart. My faince just got over the situation so fast. I have a box full of baby materials I had gotten from my mom when we found out. All I want to do is put them on a baby of my own :( I see the box and immediately just get so down. My fiance and I are going through some rough times right now and I am not sure if he even wants to be with me anymore. I am just feeling so alone and helpless. All I want is a family. I don't have any friends to talk to. I just want a baby of my own to hold. I know so many people that have children and don't give them the right care (ie. drugs, neglect, etc.) it just really hurts my heart that I love children so much and I dont have one.
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