Hi all. I'm new here. We went for our first ultrasound on Thursday the 9th. The tech told us there was no heartbeat. My life ended then and there. I feel like it was my fault. i feel like I let everyone down...my daughter. my boyfriend. my mom. Everyone was looking forward to this baby but most of all I was. My daughter is a daddy's girl through and through. I was hoping to have a 2nd baby that might possibly love me as much as she loves him. I may have only been 9+1 weeks but I already had plans n dreams for this baby. I wanted to give my daughter a sibling so she has a friend for life. I wanted to have a perfect family of 4. I had things already planned out. And now I'm left empty. Feeling like my soul has been ripped out of my body. I'm still bleeding and cramping. But the feeling of dying inside is worse. And I'm afraid it is never going to pass. How do you cope? When should I try to go back to work? We leave for vacay 8/22. I'm considering taking short term disability until after vacation. That'll bring me back 9/10. Do I need that much time? Worse thing I could do is go back and feel trapped there and be dying inside. What would yall do? Oh n to add insult to injury, two out of three of my besties are pregnant. Our babies were to be born 3 weeks apart. How am I going to deal with that? How will I watch their bellies grow and the joy of new babies I dont want any part of it. I feel so lost. Please help. Thank you for listening.
I was in the middle of early morning coffee when the stories of the bombing started and It shook my Easter meditating off of it's pedestal.I have been in semi to full trigger for days and the loss of so many souls by a hate group on a day of religious rejoicing?I felt the day choice as deliberate as any of faith. I seemed to feel the wave of darkness I was fighting get stronger. Some are being...