mine happened so fast, it almost didnt seem real at the time.
i was having major pain in my back and hips so i went to the emergency room (i didnt have health insurance to see a regular dr). they took a pregnancy test and the dr came back and told me i was pregnant, i was completely shocked but then became very excited. the dr however was worried that the pain i was experiencing was caused by some issue with the pregnancy so he set me up with an ultrasound the next day. i came in and had to do a vaginal ultrasound (because i was so early still). soon the tech doing the ultrasound turned on the speaker-type things and i heard this fast thumping sound- he told me this was my baby's heartbeat. i laid there listening and it brought tears to my eyes, that was the moment it felt real. a week later it was my day off from work and i was sleeping because i wasnt feeling well, my best friend called and my roommate came and woke me up. i was feeling groggy and a little disoriented but i thought it was because i was feeling sick and had been sleeping, i got on the phone with her and about 10 minutes into the conversation i started feeling nauseated and started feeling really hot. i asked her to hold on, i thought i was going to throw up (i had been having severe *all day* sickness for the past week)right after i told her to hold on i fainted. my roommates heard me fall and ran into the room i was in and tried to wake me up. after i came to they called 911. i was taken to the emergency room where i need staples for a gash in my head from hitting a wall. my only concern tho was my baby. again they set me up for an ultrasound the next day. i went in and after laying there i knew something was wrong, she looked at the screen for awhile then turned everything off without letting me hear my little angels heartbeat. i asked her what was wrong, she wouldnt tell me anything. so i waited for the dr, he asked me if this had been a "planned" pregnancy, my first thought was, why did that matter? but i answered "no, but i am excited about it" and thats when he told me the baby no longer had a heart beat. sometime in the last week the heart had stopped. he told me within a week i should start naturally miscarring. i was crushed and started crying. the dr gave me a hug and i left knowing the little life inside me was no longer alive and i would have to wait and let nature take its course. well the week went by, and then another and still nothing. so i went to another dr, who made me do another ultrasound, which of course had the same results (even tho, i had hoped something diffrent would come out this time, dont ask me how....i just hoped) and he told me the same thing, and basically told me to keep waiting. well i started getting sick, and my mother started getting nervous and called a dr (who happened to be a family friend) in her area (which was about 4 hours from me) he told me i needed to go in right away for a d&c so he referred her to someone, by this time it had been about 3 weeks since i was first told the devestating news, all this time i had to walk around with my dead child inside me. we made an appt and i went in for the d&c, pre-op i had to have a third ultrasound (i cried during it) and then i had the d&c. i was numb for a long time. my due date was in dec, and every year when it comes i think of the little life that never had a chance, this year he or she would be turning 4 years old. the pain at first was unbearable, but over the years it has faded some. i still hurt when i think about it, but its not like it was. i will always remember the little life whos time had not come yet to join us. and i hope one day i will have children, even tho none can take the place of the first little heartbeat i heard.