well, i havent had any kids YET, but brandon and i have tlaked about it being that hes a ranger and is career adn will be gone most of the time. ANd we kept getting a ring around of different senarios of what could/would happen and the truth is, i myslef began to think about hte fact that NO ONE is ever READY to have a baby. If you wait to be ready you will never have one. (Liek when people say they arent financially ready
) and i think the same thing applies to military families. If you put it off neither of you will be young enough to enjoy them, if you have them now you risk the fact of them not seeing there father. but that doesnt mean they dont know him. Show them pictures let them tlak to him when you do and talk about him daily. Thats all you can do rather than putting off having kids if its something you want to do. Its hard but it can work. I hope this made sense. Its kinda late lol. i hope this helps you maybe a lil bit! good luck

It sounds like you've already covered the what if's. It's true that recruiting takes them away for very long hours and down the road he may be deployed. My husband got into recruiting when my youngest son was just a few months old, of course there were 3 other kids, who were 10, 8, and 5 - kids that I had to take care of. Sometimes I felt like a single mother raising these children, but I always tried to find fun ways of keeping him (or his spiirit I should say) alive within the children. There were the guesses of what time he would be home, prize was a piece of candy, or a bowl of ice cream. There were the games of what daddy would say if he were here, and things like that. I know you're just thinking about one baby, so I'll tell you that from the beginning, since before my baby cut his first tooth, I talked to him about daddy and what a great thing daddy was doing. As my children got older, I would get the pictures out of daddy holding our baby in the hospital when he was born, and pictures of each of them with him. I always tried to find fun things that the kids would want to do. Of course, my husband came home usually really tired, and I would step back and let them have time with him first. After 3 years, his duty station changed and he was home more, but if you ask my children, they don't remember a time when he wasn't there. I guess what I'm trying to say is - don't let the ifs make the decision for you. There are ways to keep him there, if only in spirit. Sorry you got the long-winded version.

I'm in the same boat you are. I'm just not a newlywed. My husband and I have been married for a little over a year and a half. Pretty much since we got married we've been trying to get pregnant. I've been fortunate enough to have him around all the time. Its made me a bit spoiled. But now I'm facing not having him until the weekends and then in a couple months he'll be gone to training. Then there is a big chance he could get deployed early next year. I know that there are a lot of cons with our men being gone....but for me personally, having his child would help me get through it. And for him, knowing he has a wife and a child at home waiting for him helps. Every person and relationship is different, but if having a baby will make you both happy then I say do it. There is never going to be a "perfect" timing. Good luck.

I didn't read the other replys so sorry if I repeat anything. I got pregnant right away...my big thing was not having any fun time with just my huband. I can say now that i did rush into things. at the time though i htought that I needed kids to help me get through deployments. in a way it helps, but it also makes it harder...i can't get a job and most days drag on and on. Its very hard to stay busy and meet people...so its what you really want in the end...and for me i really wanted kids.

I was one that was the military brat with the father who left often. How long is he to be gone for the deployments? My father was gone for 6-8 months several times. Today, some families I know use web cams and email to keep in contact. Some kids (pretty young) I babysat use this method along with snail mail and get so excited. Push the excitement with the contact and that will make your kids excited as well.

I think I can somewhat understand what you might be feeling as I am a Soldier and a Soldier's wife. I found out I was pregnate six days after we got married. I handled it by being the best mom and wife I could be which isn't always easy the most important thing is that when daddy is gone you show pictures and try and get him to record some messages on tape before he goes. This will keep his voice fresh in your child's mind for when he comes home. The "reentry" period isn't always easy but as long as you don't let your child forget him they won't. It isn't always easy but I always say that's what my girlfriends are for who are other Army Wives. They always understand what you are going through and remember don't be to pround to ask for help when you are on your own, someone is always willing to help, usually another wife, who understands what you are going through.

My fiance and I just moved to OH in April so he can recruit. Fun life, eh? We've been trying to get pregnant since September, but recently, after learning what all the recruiting life entails, I've seriously begun wondering if we should even worry about it the next 3 years. I will be having this baby by myself, essentially. He will see the baby on weekends, and thats pretty much it. He wont be able to get up and do 1am feedings because he has to be up at 5am for work. He wont be there to put the baby down at night because he doesn't get home til 9pm. Not exactly what I had in mind.

As far as the deployment thing, you're going to--at some point-- raise those kids on your own. They all get deployed for something. As an Army brat, myself, I can tell you its really not that bad. I think, if anything, it made my relationship with my dad stronger. My dad's my hero, you know? And your children will never forget who Daddy is, every kid knows their father--whether he's there for 3 months out of a year or 10.
Best of luck!