You just got to hang in there I know its tuff! How long is he gone for! I am here for you!

I read in your profile that he is stationed back in VA and not overseas. Is moving to be with him an option?

I know how hard it is to be apart. DH has had many sea tours and 2 unaccompanied tours overseas and the seperations suck, but you'll get through it. Talking on the phone and sending emails definately help, but when you climb into bed at night is when (I think) it sucks the most.

On the lighter side, I look at DH's absence as a time when I get to do a lot of stuff for me and the kids. We can be on our own schedules and pretty much d ogirly things and girlyfy (is that even a word) the house until he gets back. You really find out what you're made of when the DH's are gone.

Good luck and hope you have a good night!

1100 Miles away? Is he not going to iraq?
Don't have a pity-party. Stay busy! I'm on round two deployment...2 years apart....I can only say that if you sit around and feel sorry for yourself, you're not doing yourself any favors! Plan a trip. Work. Volunteer. Make some friends with the same issue and focus on spending Friday/Saturday nights with them. My friends have kids and I don't...so, we always do stuff at their home after the kids go to bed.
You'll adjust.

OMG, if he's just in Virginia--at least he's not in Iraq. Good god...you can even fly to visit him! Think about all of us on here who have been away from our spouses 1, 2, 3 years!

Hey ShelbyS, I understand what you're saying. I've already been through the Iraq deployment, I know how much that sucks. I stood by him, and so looked forward to his return (and it was so great when he got back). What's harder this time for me, is that he's been re-stationed, is not coming back, and seems to have already distanced himself from me emotionally as well. I'm afraid I'll loose him, that's what is killing me. So far, He's called me less from Va, than when he was in Iraq. I'm getting a bad feeling. I appreciate your help though, thanks!

Wasn't the deployment a few months for him?
My sympathy cup is empty on this one.
You need to figure out if you're staying together and do your best to me a good mother.

Good luck.

I used to feel the same way when my fiance was in GA traning...and still do since my fiance live in florida and I in PA. It sucks there is no way around it. I go out shopping or to the store or watching tv...and i get so sad and jealous and do "why me" thing. The fact is he is away to serve his country, which is the most noble cause and a great honor! I know it is hard being on the other end. It hurts like hell. What got me through training and is getting me through a long distance relationship is keeping busy, writing letters t o my man or talking on the phone, and vent vent vent! Keep in mind the day will come again when you both can be together in the meantime support him and the sacrifice he is making, and get as much support as you can from friends and family to help you get through it all! All the best! HUGS

By the tone of your last post, I wonder if you're not upset about being alone when you see other couples, but are upset because he seems to have been thinking of you less often. You say that he has called you less from VA than Iraq. Well, that could be 2 things.

1. Very busy at his new duty station, which is completely plausible

2. Starting his seperation from the relationship.

If I were you, I would get on the horn (why do we call the phone a horn anyhow?) and ask him point blank, Are we still committed to each other.

Also, as I stated before and if your relationship is not floundering, what is keepting you from making the move to VA? If it's because you are unsure of how things will be or are scared of going to a new place, welcome to the miltary. Wait until you have to handle a move by yourself with an infant and lose your ID card...that one really bites the big one!! LOL

I think that if you want to survive this thing called military life, unfortunately, you need to endure long times apart, but as Shelby stated, get busy and no pity parties. Especially don't do the pity party at a spouse club meeting.....best way to make enemies.

I'm not trying to be rude, most of this was typed with a smile. So, just talk to him, tell him you want to be with him and set the date to move.

Maggie

Yikes, some responses have been so harsh. This is a support group, if you don't have anything worthwhile and supportive to say, then don't respond. JMO I would hate it if I was missing my husband and I was bashed for it, no matter where in the world he is. I have a very close friend with two children, and her husband is in Virginia for school for another 4 months, then he goes to a ship for another 4 months, then 2 months after they come back they do a 4 month surge....and I completely empathize with her. She can't go to Virginia with her husband because they are unaccompanied orders. We have all been there, and we all need support. We don't need people telling us to just accept it and 'suck it up.' It's perfectly natural to worry about the relationship and what the time apart does to the relationship. I belong to a wives group here in San Diego and when someone from the group is having worries, or a hard time, or just feeling depressed about the situation, we all help each other. That's what a military support group is for. I remember when the Iraq war started, I was in the Navy as well, my husband was deployed, and I was 8 months pregnant. I was so upset and worried, and I called the ombudsman. She was totally supportive, she understood this was the first time I had been seperated from my husband, and invited me to join the ship's support group. It was the best thing I ever did for myself, and met such a wonderful group of ladies that helped me so much, especially after my daughter was born.

Keep your head up. Ask him what he wants out of the relationship. Do you have children? Are you married? I hope that you figure things out. Don't get discouraged, it will get better once you get used to the flow of things. It takes time, it took a lot of time for me, but just be patient and everything will work itself out.

Caitlynsmom, so--having an opinion and encouraging someone to find inner strength and, maybe, move on is wrong? Gee, if having an opinion is BAD in a support group--then, my years of counseling patients, holding groups and managing other people's issues should be thrown out the window!!! If I had told every patient, "you're right", I'd have a fat law-suit.
Support groups are about having an opinion and being realistic. If you can't do that, try getting involved in the spouses group--I believe they only want to say super positive things...
I highly recommend being honest--I don't suger-coat life because life is messy...and if I hadn't had tough love from people at various times in my life, then I wouldn't have found strength and moved forward.
and...No one said "suck it up"...you're over-interpreting.

wow, that's all I'm going to say, is wow.