so i dunno i guess i just wanna vent. one of my best friends is a marine. he left for basic back in january. i haven't seen him face to face in over a year. i write him letters, and he called me the other day, but it's just not the same as having my buddy with me. we've known each other since we were freshmen in high school. we had some rocky moments. he was a total alcoholic and kinda put me through hell sometimes with his drinking. then he'd always say he'd sobered up but he was just lying. he was in love with me all through high school but i never returned his feelings. he was too immature and wrapped up in his addiction. well after high school he cleaned up his act for the most part.he quit drinking alone, at least, and then he joined the marines. we all hoped maybe the military would straighten him out a bit. so anyway i've been writing him and talking to him, and over these last couple of months i've been...feeling differently about him. he's still the same goofball he's always been, but now he's got a spine. he's manned up, for sure. i know he still feels the same way about me. when i wrote him telling him i was enlisting in the army, he called me and was seriously worries. he kept saying he didn't want me to die. i tried to calm him down, but he's still worried. the thing is im worried too cuz he deploys to Afghanistan about halfway through my bootcamp. so here we are, just worried about each other. his job is safe. it's a computer desk job. he's gonna be in an air conditioned room for a year. my job's much more hazardous, so i can see why he's so worried, but i really don't want him to be all concerned like this. i just don't know what to do. im confused about how i feel about him, missing him, afraid to go for it because what if he's still all addicted.....he's coming home in december and i'll see him then. i just.....gah. i dunno. im stressing out about the whole situation and don't have anyone to talk to, so i thought id just vent it here.
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