Military Families Support Group
Today's military family faces a lifestyle that is comprised of frequent deployments, which results in increased family separations. This often proves to be a stressful challenge for military families. This community is dedicated to the families that are dealing with the unique challenges of distance and military-related stress.
I just needed to put this out there and get feedback on whether this happens with anybody else or if anybody can give some advice.
I am not sure if I am being uncaring, or what but I have to get this out because it has happened on numerous occasions. My fiance has been at Ft benning for 9 months awaiting a medical discharge. I know he has very limited phone and email privliages but alot of times when he does have a pass or gets on the computer he does not email or anything. Like today I checked my fiance's myspace today and saw he was on it yesterday, and well I did not receive and email, or anything from him. It has been awhile since i have heard from him via phone or email and well months since we have seen eachother so I would think that he would want to talk to me any chance he could. But this has not been the case with him. I have been told this lack of contact thing (even when he can talk) is because of him being depressed, which I can totally understand given his situation. I miss him soo much and would do anything to talk, or hear from him via any means. But it does not seem to be a mutual given this has happened numerous times. It makes me feel like he does not care or love me anymore. Is this common for your loved one in the military to just not email or phone even when they can? I hope I don't come off as being a mean person...I just don't get why he would not want to talk to me after being apart for so long.
I am not sure if I am being uncaring, or what but I have to get this out because it has happened on numerous occasions. My fiance has been at Ft benning for 9 months awaiting a medical discharge. I know he has very limited phone and email privliages but alot of times when he does have a pass or gets on the computer he does not email or anything. Like today I checked my fiance's myspace today and saw he was on it yesterday, and well I did not receive and email, or anything from him. It has been awhile since i have heard from him via phone or email and well months since we have seen eachother so I would think that he would want to talk to me any chance he could. But this has not been the case with him. I have been told this lack of contact thing (even when he can talk) is because of him being depressed, which I can totally understand given his situation. I miss him soo much and would do anything to talk, or hear from him via any means. But it does not seem to be a mutual given this has happened numerous times. It makes me feel like he does not care or love me anymore. Is this common for your loved one in the military to just not email or phone even when they can? I hope I don't come off as being a mean person...I just don't get why he would not want to talk to me after being apart for so long.
Jayda
Oh hun, I have experianced the same thing. I cant really tell you why this is this way, All I can tell you is talk to him. He could be very well not checking his email cause hes on his myspace...Why dont you try sending one to his myspace...But maybe you should let him know that its killing you not to hear from him. My boyfriend did that to me and I said look you cant go 7 days with out emailing me cause I need to know for my peice of mind that your alright. And give it to him straight but with loving words. But you are not alone...Hang in there things get tough and I have to say miilitary relationships are the strongest relationships I have ever experianced. So you two will make it through! You'll be in my prayers!
deleted_user
Thanks so much Jayda! I will message him and tell him how I feel. Take care!
deleted_user
My fiance does the same thing. He's in Iraq right now. He doesn't like waiting in line for the phone so he NEVER calls me. I email him 10x more then he does me. I think it's a mail thing. It's like talking on the phone, women do it "better". Don't take it too personal. I've learn to just bite my tongue and love whatever chance I get to hear from my fiance. If you ever need to talk feel free to send me a message. Take care and stay strong.
deleted_user
stay strong you must him a lot,just keep trying to reach him,sometimes the military is like that, they you to think they are the most important thing.
deleted_user
Just talk to him. SOmetimes men are just devoid of knowing what we want and you have to tell them. I had to tell my husband in the past I wanted more hugs. (And this has gone both ways, as he has asked me to kiss him more when I had no idea I wasn't kissing a lot). Just be blunt, let it out, don't hint, then see what happens. I am sure it is just stress...men tend to feel vulnerable in situations like these...and he may just want to keep up the strong front for you...best bet is to just tell him how you feel...which does NOT make u a mean person!
deleted_user
Flat out ask him what is going on...My husband was stationed at Ft.Benning, We were married I came home because he went to jump school wanted nothing to get in the way of his school, he did Bradley and worked on the Javlin too... Guess what he had an affair the Barrack sluts run a muck there. TALK NOW, not saying that is what is going on, but could be. Yes I am very bitter and hurt and if someone had warned me of the reloving door those type of women laid behind I would have done things a lot differently. GOOD LUCK !!!
deleted_user
my husband did that too and still does it to this day. i will say that benning is a terrible place and alot of guys do go down the wrong path there. i was lucky that my hubby put me in a hotel the whole time he was in jump school, but then again i am sorry i saw what kind of place it was, i would worry if he went there without me, but i do trust him and now wouldn't worry. maybe in the past, but now we are closer than ever.
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