Migraine Headaches Support Group
Migraine is a neurological disease, of which the most common symptom is an intense and disabling episodic headache. Migraine headaches are usually characterized by severe pain on one or both sides of the head and are often accompanied by photophobia (hypersensitivity to light), phonophobia (hypersensitivity to sound) and nausea.
Test Yourself: Are You a Neanderthal?
As you know, Neanderthal man may have interbred with modern man. His descendants are with us even today, passing for full-blooded Homo Sapiens. If you suspect a "touch of the old hand ax" in your ancestry, score yourself on this test:
1. Do your eyebrows meet in the middle? If so, give yourself five points.
2. Can you lock your knees in an upright position? If not, take five
points.
3. Got a chin? If the answer is no, add three points.
4. How about a forehead? If not, add another three points.
5. Is it easy for you to balance a book on your head? Then give yourself five points.
6. Do you ever open Coke bottles with your teeth? If you do, add ten points.
7. Are you frequently more comfortable squatting on your heels than sitting in a chair? Take five points.
8. Is your head attached vertically to your neck? If not, add one point for every five degrees of slope.
9. Less than five feet tall? Add one point for every inch under.
10. If your lower arm is shorter than your upper arm, add one point for every inch of difference.
11. Ditto for your lower and upper legs.
12. Pigeon-toed? Five points.
13. Have you ever felt like bashing a postal clerk with a club? You're normal--no points.
14. Is the space between your big toe and your other toes big enough to hold an apple? Add five points.
15. Do you regularly eat apples in this way? Add fifteen points.
16. Do people think you're wearing your hair in a bun when you're not? Give yourself ten points.
17. Can you count your vertebrae while wearing two sweaters and an overcoat? Take five more points.
18. Is your nickname "Duke", "Butch", or "Animal"? Three points.
Scoring
0-20 points: You are a virtually pure Homo sapiens. Feel free to build bridges, compose symphonies, and overrun the world.
20-40 points: A slight Neanderthal strain means that you will occasionally have spells of primitive behavior, crawling around on all fours and whooping wildly. If you live in California, no one will notice.
40-60 points: You can still function quite well in the modern world, but avoid eating in fancy restaurants lest your table manners give you away.
60-80 points: Your Pleistocene heritage is predominant. You should consider a career in pro football.
80-100 points: Unfortunately, your genetic makeup is Grunt City; there is no place for you in human society. Try running for public office instead.
As you know, Neanderthal man may have interbred with modern man. His descendants are with us even today, passing for full-blooded Homo Sapiens. If you suspect a "touch of the old hand ax" in your ancestry, score yourself on this test:
1. Do your eyebrows meet in the middle? If so, give yourself five points.
2. Can you lock your knees in an upright position? If not, take five
points.
3. Got a chin? If the answer is no, add three points.
4. How about a forehead? If not, add another three points.
5. Is it easy for you to balance a book on your head? Then give yourself five points.
6. Do you ever open Coke bottles with your teeth? If you do, add ten points.
7. Are you frequently more comfortable squatting on your heels than sitting in a chair? Take five points.
8. Is your head attached vertically to your neck? If not, add one point for every five degrees of slope.
9. Less than five feet tall? Add one point for every inch under.
10. If your lower arm is shorter than your upper arm, add one point for every inch of difference.
11. Ditto for your lower and upper legs.
12. Pigeon-toed? Five points.
13. Have you ever felt like bashing a postal clerk with a club? You're normal--no points.
14. Is the space between your big toe and your other toes big enough to hold an apple? Add five points.
15. Do you regularly eat apples in this way? Add fifteen points.
16. Do people think you're wearing your hair in a bun when you're not? Give yourself ten points.
17. Can you count your vertebrae while wearing two sweaters and an overcoat? Take five more points.
18. Is your nickname "Duke", "Butch", or "Animal"? Three points.
Scoring
0-20 points: You are a virtually pure Homo sapiens. Feel free to build bridges, compose symphonies, and overrun the world.
20-40 points: A slight Neanderthal strain means that you will occasionally have spells of primitive behavior, crawling around on all fours and whooping wildly. If you live in California, no one will notice.
40-60 points: You can still function quite well in the modern world, but avoid eating in fancy restaurants lest your table manners give you away.
60-80 points: Your Pleistocene heritage is predominant. You should consider a career in pro football.
80-100 points: Unfortunately, your genetic makeup is Grunt City; there is no place for you in human society. Try running for public office instead.
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theatre and I are there already. I'm having a very berry tea with crackers, cheese and cherry tomatoes and she's having a joint with some beer and we're both on really comfy recliners on thick pile carpet. we need some help with the decor if anyone is around??
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I'm trying to exercise daily. I was doing fairly well until I sprained my ankle 2 weeks ago but now I'm getting back on the horse. Today I walked over a mile with my arm weights that are about 22lbs total. I was out of shape and it was hard on my arms. I also did my 30 situps. I'm also going to drink a lot of water and try to eat healthy. I do tend to have a sweet tooth but I'm cutting...
Once a week, coming atcha. Cause we need a bit of the lighter side in here.
Venting is great, information is superb, but connecting as a community over some laughs would be a lovely-lovely thing.
A man goes to the doctor with a long history of migraine headaches. When the doctor does his history and physical, he discovers that the poor guy has tried practically every therapy known to man for his migraines and STILL no improvement.
"Listen," says the doc, "I have migraines, too and the advice I'm going to give you isn't really anything I learned in medical school, but it's advice that I've gotten from my own experience. When I have a migraine, I go home, get in a nice hot bathtub, and soak for a while. Then I have my wife sponge me off with the hottest water I can stand, especially around the forehead. This helps a little. Then I get out of the tub, take her into the bedroom, and even if my head is killing me, I force myself to have sex with her. Almost always, the headache is immediately gone. Now, give it a try, and come back and see me in six weeks."
Six weeks later, the patient returns with a big grin. "Doc! I took your advice and it works! It REALLY WORKS! I've had migraines for 17 years and this is the FIRST time anyone has ever helped me!"
"Well," says the physician, "I'm glad I could help."
"By the way, Doc," the patient adds, "You have a REALLY nice house."